Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

April 23, 2014

Highly qualified only please

By Samantha Stroube-Daviss
Corsicana Daily Sun

Corsicana — In our youth, fresh out of college, we are all so eager to enter the “grown up world” and start our careers. Which usually turns out to be our first job out of college, very rarely is your first job, ever your career. But if you are one of those lucky souls that steps into your dream job, which propagates into your career, then so be it.

Bright eyed and eager we are willing to do most any sort of job, just so we can start earning that paycheck, pay rent, and hopefully have enough left over after bills to have some great fun on the weekends, or as it may be in some cases, during the week.

But after reading the following job description, who in their right mind would apply for this job, nay career?

• Must be able to work 135+ hours a week;

• Ability to work overnight, associate needs are pending;

• Willingness to forgo any breaks or vacation time;

• Work mostly standing up and/or bending down;

• Must be able to lift up to 75 lbs. on a regular basis;

• Ph.D. in psychology or real-life equivalent;

• Crisis management skills a must;

• Ability to manage a minimum of 10-15 projects at one time;

• Ability to communicate at all levels (basic to advanced);

• Ability to improvise;

• Proficient in handling sticky situations (literally and figuratively;

• Ability to coordinate multiple, often conflicting, schedules;

• Ability to make independent decisions on behalf of others;

• Ability to work with associates with minimal ability;

• Ability to work in a chaotic environment;

• Frequent travel; larger vehicle driving experience a plus;

• Excellent interpersonal skills and a collaborative approach;

• Flexible when it comes to surprise requests;

• Demonstrated knowledge and experience in negotiating, counseling, and the culinary arts;

• Unlimited patience;

• Understanding of social media, mobile devices and video game;

• Understanding of finance;

• Understanding of medicine;

• Strong autonomy and Selflessly driven;

• Valid driver’s license, CPR certification and Red Cross membership recommended but not required;

• Ability to wear several hats, professional and domestic;

• Positive disposition at all times.

If you answered yes to obtaining any of those abilities, then you just might have found your ideal career or profession.

Oh, but the one thing that was left off that list was the pay. The  pay is $0. That’s right you get absolutely no pay — just lots of hugs and kisses, cuddle time, and the occasional “Thank You”.

Think you might be interested? Even though there is no monetary compensation, the rewards are endless.

So when applying for this position, in the subject of your email, just enter the word “Mom.” That’s right, this is just a partial description, yet a very thorough description of just a single day in the life of a great mom. Remember to thank your mom today for all she does for you, because she doesn’t walk around the house asking for your appreciation, she just does was needs to be done to keep the household moving and functioning in a proper fashion.

Although it is absolutely the most rewarding job on the planet, it is also the toughest. Remember that next time you ask your mom or your wife if your socks have been cleaned and folded. Run down the check list first to see what else she has had on her plate for the day — quite possibly it slipped her mind to wash your stinky ol’ socks.

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Samantha Stroube-Daviss is a Daily Sun columnist. Her column appears on Thursdays. She may be reached by email at columnwriter98@hotmail.com. Read her blog at Samantha-daviss.blogspot.com. Follow her on Twitter @samanthadaviss1