Most of us marry our spouses because we are attracted to particular attributes they may (or may not) possess. There were several attributes that attracted me to my husband, like his calming disposition, his sense of humor, his ability to calm me down when needed, and the fact that he accepts me for whom I am. But the main attribute that attracted me to my husband was the fact that he is without a doubt my very best friend in this entire world.
He is the first person I think of when I have some exciting news to share, he is the first person I want to vent to when I want to rip someone’s head off, and he is the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning. We have a lot in common on a personal level like hobbies, activities we enjoy doing together, and the fact that we just make each other laugh all of the time.
As you can imagine with three boys, two working parents, children’s extracurricular and family activities, school work, and everything else life throws your way…we as a couple have very little time to “date” anymore. But if I’ve said it once, I will say it 1,000 more times — you have to keep dating as a couple. That connection that once brought you together must remain a priority in your lives. Because one day when the house is empty, the laundry is put away, and the grass is mowed, because you have nothing else to do together, you don’t want to look at one another and say “Really? What on earth was I thinking?”
You have to keep that spark alive, and remember that the relationship you have and maintain with you significant other is the most important relationship you will ever endure. I’m not saying marriage is a cake walk; just like any relationship — business, personal, or otherwise — they all require time, effort and attention. And your marriage is no exception.
Time out of the house together at parties or gatherings is always fun; it allows you time to socialize and see your friends and catch up with everyone that you haven’t seen in a while. But that is not “dating.” Dating your significant other is just like what it sounds…going out on a date, alone, and doing something you both enjoy doing. But the catch is you have to make time for this so-called dating. There should be no excuses as to why you can or cannot do it.
With that said, my husband and I got to go on a much overdue, much needed date the other night. We did the typical movie date night, since we average about one movie a year together. But we both loved the movie, and then we decided to go for drinks together at a nearby watering hole. It was fantastic; we actually sat for almost three hours just talking. We were able to talk about the typical household issues that we’ve needed to discuss for about two months, uninterrupted by little voices needing juice or cookies. And then we talked about dreams and plans we had for ourselves and how we were going to try and tackle our aspirations. So just a fun night out with my best friend, able to catch up on things that have, unfortunately, been brushed under the living room rug, for lack of a better term, because of our hectic lives.
But the best part of our evening was after we left the restaurant, we headed to Wal-Mart, because my husband wanted to buy an ice cream maker. Well that adventure took a turn for the worse I guess you could say…because we ended up having a hula hooping contest in the middle of Wal-Mart at 12:30 at night.
So you see, even though you are an “old married couple,” as long as you married your best friend you can still have fun together. You just have to remember why you were attracted to one another in the first place and keep that first and foremost in your memory bank, and the rest will just fall in to place.
Marriage doesn’t have to mean complacency, or boredom, or monotony. You can still be those youngsters that used to joke with each other and tease each other, while still being responsible adults and parents. Maturity doesn’t have to mean boring; it can just mean that you have your life together, while still enjoying it.
Samantha Stroube-Daviss is a Daily Sun columnist. Her column appears on Thursdays. She may be reached by e-mail at email@example.com. Read her blog at samantha-daviss.blogspot.com, and follow her on Twitter @SamanthaDaviss1. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org