Published: May 01, 2008 11:37 pm            

Gimme a six-pac

What can Jerry (Pay-Me-To-Name-My-New-Stadium) Jones be thinking? He has really dipped into the sludge bucket with the deal to acquire Adam “Pacman” Jones. I mean, here is a guy who makes Tank Johnson look like an altar-boy. Don’t get me wrong — I believe that everyone deserves a second, third, or even a fourth chance. However, this guy would try the patience of a saint with all the scrapes (count them — 10) he’s had with the law over the last three years since he became a pro football player.

Pacman is a 25-year-old super athlete whose off-the-field adventures make him appear dumber than a box of rocks. He probably thinks battered shrimp are abused. He may have attended the University of West Virginia but he acts like he graduated from the “Charles Manson School of Charm and Decorum.” Here is a quick recap of his on and off field exploits since he was selected as the first defensive player (6th overall) in the 2005 NFL Draft by the Tennessee Titans.

In the 30 games he was in uniform with the Titans before he was suspended by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, he started 28 of them. He had four interceptions, one for a touchdown in 2006; recorded one sack and 120 tackles in his first two seasons; led the NFL in punt return yardage in 2006; tied the record with three punt returns for a touchdown in a single season; and averaged 26.2 yards per kickoff return over his first two seasons. Pretty impressive stuff, but so is his record off the field since he was drafted back in April 2005.

It has been said that one’s reputation is one’s character minus what one has been caught doing. Actually, I think I just made that up. Anyway, when it comes to this character’s reputation, he has a bulb or two out on his marquee. Since draft day, he has been either charged or questioned by police in sin cities in the states of Georgia, Tennessee, and Nevada. Charges have included assault, drug use and trafficking, shooting incidents, vandalism, obstructing police, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and various other misdemeanors. Granted, most of the charges have either been withdrawn by complainants or dismissed by police, but he is serving probation for some of the charges. Now, a report has just surfaced that he paid $15,000 in extortion money to the guy charged with attempted murder outside a Las Vegas strip club last February. Pacman was charged with instigating the melee inside the club that night and later pled guilty to misdemeanor charges in return for testimony about the shooting.

The terms of this trade are really weird — especially since he is currently under suspension from the NFL and cannot even practice with the Cowboys. Dallas gave the Titans a fourth-round pick (number 126 overall) in this year’s draft plus a sixth-round pick in 2009. All this is predicated on the fact that the Pacster is reinstated for this season and he has no off-field problems throughout the season. If he is not reinstated, then the Titans will have to give Dallas back a fourth-round pick in 2009. If he is reinstated, and then gets suspended again for a violation, the Titans will owe Dallas a fifth-round pick in 2009. Simple, huh?

Pacman is taking quite a hit in the pocket book under his new contract. He gets a four-year, non-guaranteed contract with the Cowboys, but he has to forfeit $5.2 million in base salary he would have received over the next three seasons with the Titans plus $1.5 million in incentives they owed him. Of course, there are a lot of ways he can earn tons of money in performance and incentive awards with his new team if he keeps his nose clean, plays up to his potential, and stops throwing money on the stage for the pole-dancers.

Some pundits say J.J. is taking too much of a chance — that there has been so much smoke created by Pacman’s actions, that he could never make it through a burn ban. After all, here is a guy whose idea of a time share is five years in Huntsville. However, Jerry has a plan, folks. He knows that Packie and his Atlanta entourage have a penchant for seedy dives, after-hours clubs, and strip joints which seem to be where all their troubles start. Well, that temptation will no longer be in the equation since Dallas does not have any of these establishments. Yeah, right! Also, he plans on assigning former players like Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin as mentors, bed-check monitors, and chaperones instead of the aforementioned gang-bangers from Atlanta. And to show that he really means business, when the team travels to the various NFL “Sodoms and Gomorra’s,” Jerry is bringing O.J. Simpson on board as the new Director of Player Personal Conduct.

So here’s the bottom line for the Packeroo and his new lease on NFL life with the Dallas Cowboys. He has to stop thinking like the guy who robs a liquor store and uses the money to get drunk. He is a skilled cornerback and an awesome kickoff and punt returner who can strengthen the defense and put the offense in better field position with his returns. However, one more failure to exercise good sense in where, when, and with whom he hangs out on his own time and his career in football is over for good. The Pacman needs to realize two things: if you act like a skunk, someone will surely get wind of it; and Commissioner Goodell has absolutely no tolerance for bad odors.

Let me close with a few of my favorite quotes by one of my athletic heroes, Yogi Berra: anybody who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined…when you dig yourself a hole, you can only go to the well so often…a verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on … money is better than poverty — if only for financial reasons… you can observe a lot just by watching.

See ya later…

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Dick Platt is a Daily Sun columnist. His column appears on Thursdays.

        

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