Published: October 24, 2009 08:28 pm      

Tech talking

Time for a mental ‘reboot’ of the on-board mental computer

When I moved to Missouri for a radio gig back in 1981, I had my first experience with the then-novel device called the “computer.”

They didn’t do much back then, at least compared to today’s standards, but they were “the future,” as I recall being told by a man who programmed that particular machine, designed to do bookkeeping for the radio station, and an associated printing business.

A couple of years later, at that same Missouri radio station, we made a giant leap into the future with the Apple computer — an Apple IIe, to be exact. We used it to display local news items on the local cable television system. It displayed 15 different displays that rotated, each showing for about 30 seconds, then moving to the next.

We were — at the time — “big time” for a little radio station in a small Missouri town.

Of course, your local cable systems throughout the area do the same thing today, displaying an almost unlimited number of “pages” on any one of a number of channels.

But even back then, that pesky computer was starting to change the way we did things — things that are now taken for granted.

Fast forward nearly a couple of decades. It is a whole new ballgame.

Computers are everywhere. They run our lives. They are taking over. We are being assimilated, like the Borg in the Star Trek movie.

When Al Gore invented the Internet, I don’t think even he imagined the likes of “You Tube,” “Facebook,” “My Space” and all the rest, and how absolutely, positively dependent we’d become on those plastic and metal boxes full of chips and silicon with a bright color screen. Then again, this is the same guy who invented Global Warming too, so go figure.

But even the best of things has its quirks. Even this machine I’m composing this piece on — a “Mac” — can act goofy from time to time, despite what the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” ads will lead you to believe. But that’s another column for another day.

Try to buy anything from a pack of gum to a house, and you are dealing with a computer. And, sometimes you’re dealing with a problem. And, at all times, you’ll be faced with questions.

“Can I have your phone number?”

“Can I have your Zip Code?”

“Do you have your membership card?”

Even the question “is this for here or to go” requires computer input. I’m a trained professional and I know this to be true. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.

But here is the thing that always gets me, every time, without fail. And, I mean no disrespect to our youth today, but more often than not, they’ll be involved.

“Your total is $17.09, sir.”

Enter the pesky computer. And, in the interest of making fast food “faster,” they’ve already entered the next data — incorrectly — in anticipation of your payment.

They tell their computer you paid with a $20 bill, and it tells them you are due $2.91 in change, which they dutifully begin to count out.

Then I hand them a $20 bill and a dime.

Ninety-nine percent of the time, that’ll stop them dead in their tracks.

Or, as they robot used to say in the old TV series, “Does not compute! Does not compute!”

In one hand, they’ve got my $20 bill and my dime. In the other hand, the change they’ve already counted out, based on their required — yet premature — computer input. And, there is no turning back — or if there is, they don’t know how to do it.

This is the same kid, of course, who can probably “Tweet,” “Text,” “My Space,” and make a phone call, all at the same time, on the little “handheld” computers we call “cell phones.”

Everyone who has experienced this awkward moment in line, raise your hands now!

OK, you may now lower your hands, and continue reading.

Yes, in fact, computers are probably the greatest invention of mankind to date.

But have a “Plan B” ready to go when life’s little adventures such as a $20 bill and a dime come your way — because they will.

And every once in a while, “reboot” both of your computers. The one on your desk, and the one on top of your neck.

You might be amazed at the results!

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Bob Belcher is Managing Editor of the Daily Sun. His column appears on Sundays. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? E-mail: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com