Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


January 26, 2014

What’s in a name?

I spend waaay too much time on the Internet, but here’s my defense — it’s where the craziness lives.

Proof, you ask? Yes, I can do that. A guy named Stephen McLaughlin has set up a website,, to let the Internet suggest monikers for his as-of-yet-unborn baby girl. Each person can vote on a first name and middle name once per day before the baby’s birth April 2.

The winning name as of Friday was Cthulhu All-Spark. Because H.P. Lovecraft’s horror stories always make me think of sweet little baby girls, and well, who wouldn’t want to name their kid after a device from a “Transformers” movie?

Apparently, a lot of Transformers fans are on this site daily, because also in the running for names is “Megatron,” at number three.

There are a few relatively normal girls’ names, too. Amelia, Charlotte, Olivia, Camille, Sophia, April, Sage, Mae, Rose, Grace, and Renee are on the lists, proving that decent people with souls also use the Internet.

And then there are the people who proposed Zelda, Pond, Of-the-Sea, Luna, Le-Dash-A, Titanium, Doge, and Salad. A few of those I can explain. Zelda is a video game character, in addition to being the mad wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Le-Dash-A is a joke name. Doge is an Internet meme dog with funny captions under its photos. It’s a cute dog, but it would still be tacky.

Pond is the last name of a “Dr. Who” (the British television series) character. The idea clearly being to name the kid Amelia Pond McLaughlin, which isn’t completely awful since the character is a funny, smart, brave girl played by a beautiful actress.

Salad is a mystery to me.

And in defense of Stephen, he did put a disclaimer on the Website saying that he and his wife will have the ultimate say in the baby’s name and that it would not be WackyTaco692.

And then there are the celebrities who give their kids names but who don’t have the excuse of mass Internet insanity to fall back on.

Bronx Mowgli Wentz is the real-life son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz; Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette is the daughter of Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller fame); Diva Muffin is the daughter of Frank and Gail Zappa (their other kids are Moon Unit, Dweezil and Ahmet); Fifi Trixibelle is the daughter of musician Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, whose other kids are Peaches Honeyblossom and Little Pixie. Paula also had a daughter with MIchael Hutchence, (a musician with INXS), which they named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

So, suddenly Cthulhu All-Spark is looking pretty good. It’s all relative.


Janet Jacobs (Her real name) is City Editor of the Corsicana Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via e-mail at Want to “sound off” to this article? E-mail:


Text Only
  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Flipping out over flip-tops

    Somewhere between the admonition to avoid looks at gift horse’s mouths and the dangers of Greeks bearing gifts should be warnings about acceptance of gifts from offspring.

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg ‘Spilling doze count’

    My subject is borrowed from a local contributor to the Sarasota Herald Tribune named Bob Parkinson.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Deanna Kirk Water Park woes

    I’ve come to the realization that vacations are not a luxury, they’re a necessity.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Old, new, borrowed, blue

       Dissection of notes found in the pocket of an old suit isn’t easy. Maybe they were scrawled during the lull in a wedding ceremony, or to jog my memory of a joke for later use.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg Spam french fries

    I saw a relatively disturbing video and article on Yahoo which touted making Spam French fires to go alongside your big old ground chuck burger. I just can’t imagine a basket full of these deep-fried cholesterol-loaded sticks, but there they were, bigger than Texas.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Dumb and dumber in the blotter

    When it comes to dumb criminals, nothing beats the would-be gang of car burglars who tried to break into a car in Tampa, Florida, this past week.

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg ‘Change’ — old "buzz word" shows up in our town

    If you pay much attention when you’re driving around town lately (and I really hope that you do — pay attention, that is) you can’t help but admit we’ve seen some “change” as of late. And, contrary to the political connotations that word will forever carry with it now, that “change” we’re seeing is good.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Germany present and past

    Last Sunday evening my wife and I stood on the balcony of our apartment in Nuremberg and watched as fireworks lit up the sky.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Where strawberries are king

    In 1949, when Stilwell, Oklahoma’s “Strawberry Festival” was just one year old, crooners were applauded when they cut loose with Dear Hearts and Gentle People.

    July 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg My TV is held hostage

    Give me back my TV! The Sunday sports fare today is just pitiful as far as I am concerned. Over the past weeks, my normal sports programs has been rudely preempted by endless hours of Wimbledon tennis, the Tour de France, assorted motor sports, and the nauseating mega-million signing sagas of LeBron James and Carmello Anthony

    July 14, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Florida Panther Rebound Upsets Ranchers Small Plane Crash in San Diego Parking Lot Busy Franco's Not Afraid of Overexposure Fighting Blocks Access to Ukraine Crash Site Dangerous Bacteria Kills One in Florida Workers Dig for Survivors After India Landslide Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN Raw: Deadly Landslide Hits Indian Village Obama Chides House GOP for Pursuing Lawsuit New Bill Aims to Curb Sexual Assault on Campus Russia Counts Cost of New US, EU Sanctions 3Doodler Bring 3-D Printing to Your Hand Six PA Cops Indicted for Robbing Drug Dealers Britain Testing Driverless Cars on Roadways
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates