Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

June 2, 2013

Stupidity starts with breakfast

By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun

— There’s all sorts of stupidity out there to make fun of, but I thought I’d pull just a few samples this week for ya.

It must start, of course, with the gold-plated chocolate bacon. Yep, some New York genius who runs a baconry (kid you not, it’s a “bacon meets bakery,”) has chocolate-dipped bacon and then covered this abomination with edible gold foil. Because, yeah, that’s what’s been missing from the world. It’s $40 for pack, but I’m not sure how many are in a pack.

I can laugh, but I recently went to a gastropub called the Meddlesome Moth in Dallas last week and spent $14 on bacon pops, of which there were four. The “pops” were very thick cut bacon, about two inches long, on a stick. Tasted like ... bacon. I liked the fried hominy better, which was hominy, you know, fried. It tasted salty and crunchy and only vaguely hominy-ish.

About a cup and a half of the fried hominy was $11. As I shared the snack with my friends I wondered how many cans of hominy I could buy for that, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my city friends too much.

And no, that’s not the type of restaurant I normally go to in Dallas. My favorite dining establishment in the Metroplex is a gas station off Garland Road that makes a breakfast taco with ribeye steak and hollandaise sauce that has made me question my life choices on more than one occasion. It’s a really good taco.

Speaking of people with their priorities screwed up beyond imagining, a report from the Albuquerque Journal involved a family that got into a knife fight because a teenager won a poker game.

The adults in the game, 35 and 42-year-old cousins, argued because the younger man’s 14-year-old son won the poker game at a party. The older guy got a ride home with the younger guy, and then they started arguing again and the older guy punched the 35-year-old’s wife. Things went downhill from there when they pulled off into a gas station parking lot and the younger guy pulled a knife and cut his cousin in the face and stomach. They then left his bleeding self in the parking lot and went home. They both ended up in the hospital and both got charged.

And because no column on stupid stuff in the news would be complete without something from Florida, it turns out that suspicious envelope sent to the Tallahassee city hall Friday contained an insurance payment and bread crumbs, according to the Tallahassee Democrat. It was the crumbs that had them responding with dogs and bomb units and evacuations. Turns out, the bill payers had written the check over the breakfast table...

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Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached by email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “soundoff” on this column? Email: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com