By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun
I get a lot of press releases each week ranging from the slightly newsy if you squint just right, to the outright bizarre. For those of you on Facebook, imagine getting updates from people you’ve never heard of all day long. Or for those of you old-school phone owners, it’s like being on a party line with all the inmates of an insane asylum and New York’s Madison Avenue at once.
These are some samples from the press releases I got this past week:
• The National Center for Education states that many people graduating college degrees this year will not be able to find a job. Robert Freeman, a former music school director, thinks people getting classical music degrees should be required to take computer literacy classes and business classes. He’s even written a book about it.
A whole book on how to make impractical college degrees practical? Surprisingly, it’s not called “Your Dreams or the American Dream: Pick One.”
• Michael Engmann, author of the book “Greed is Good, Big is Bad: How to Solve America’s Problems,” claims that Obama is a communist and Republicans and Democrats (both) are socialists. This San Francisco investor seems to want us to get rid of the federal government and let businesses do what they feel is best.
I wish I felt I could solve everyone’s problems by slapping generic labels on folks who disagree with me. If I were so inclined, I’d probably label Engmann a few screws shy of a workbench and call it a day. Good thing I’m not.
• Gist Finley Combs sent out a guest editorial on the secret space program by the British and Americans. In the editorial, he alludes to the bases on Mars, the secret shadow governments and the phantom matrix groups of ETs who are set on eliminating people and taking over the planet. Someone (not sure who), already sold Africa to the aliens. Someone also has secret astro-plane traveling soldiers who can kill you in your sleep with their minds. He’s fended off two such assassination attempts just by waking up and calling out for help from “The Guardians,” he claims. He urges uniting all humans together to fight the alien invaders.
And really, who could argue against that?
• Finally, Texas Parks and Wildlife reports there is no sign of the fungal disease “white-nose syndrome” among Texas bats. I pass this along in case you were up late nights worried.
Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.