By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun
I had to be impressed with the chutzpah of the guy in Vermont who decided to attack two officers with a brick this past week. The incident took place in Brattleboro, and was written up on the website of WCAX News. The 28-year-old had violated the terms of his release on a stalking charge and when officers went to make the arrest he punched one of them and tried to hit them with a large brick. Not surprisingly, the guy lost the Brattleboro brick battle (say that three times fast). Lesson here? Don’t bring a brick to a gun fight.
Among all the stories of the federal government shutdown and its impact, the funniest was that the Air Force Academy was facing a shortage of toilet paper. In light of the impending mess, literally, they have since corrected the problem, according to Fox21News.com, where Southern Colorado goes to watch “Family Guy.” Presumably, by getting some toilet paper. About a third of the classes were also canceled, as were all the laundry services, but clearly theses cadets had their priorities right. That would really be where the government shutdown becomes personal.
And in case you think all the crazies live in Florida and come here for holidays, a woman in Australia came home to find a fat guy sitting by her pool, drinking coffee and wearing her neighbor’s one-piece swimsuit. The guy said he broke into her house to bring back the two jackets he stole the day before. He took the swimsuit along with a religious ceremonial gown from the neighbor on a different occasion. The woman said she recognized the stolen green swimsuit because she helped her friend shop for it. Really, honey, that would NOT be the first thing I noticed if I came home to a scene like that. Or even the 20th thing.
Speaking of odd burglars, Lufkin (Texas), has been hit with a bizarre rash of panty thefts in the last two years, according to the Lufkin Daily News. Police have recently come to think that the “Panty Burglar” may be unhinged because in his latest break-in he stole the underwear of everyone in the house, including the 5-year-old. In the last two years, 12 homes have been burglarized, with nothing missing but the knickers. The article quoted an Angelina County Sheriff’s spokesman who said this latest burglary raises concerns and “ups the ante” because a little girl’s underwear was stolen.
Riiiiiight, because there was nothing to worry about before.
Janet Jacobs may be reached via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. Want to “sound off” to this article? E-mail: Soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com