Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

March 19, 2013

Dealing with TV lag

By Dick Platt
Corsicana Daily Sun

— Life in Florida is good — unless you are a TV addict like me.

Everything comes on one hour later here. It was hard enough staying up for those 9 p.m. prime time shows in Texas but “Body of Proof” didn’t even start until 10 p.m. last night. I caught the beginning and then snoozed through the next hour and woke up during the news. I always wondered where the line, “News at 11” came from — and now I’m there.

I am already worried about what I will do during NFL football season when the Sunday and Monday night games don’t even start until 8:30 p.m. With all the old folks who populate this state, you would think they would be more considerate. Recording the games for later viewing is out of the question for two reasons: I can’t abide watching a game where I already know the result and I don’t know how that darned  TiVo and DVR stuff works. On the nights when the Broncos are playing late, I’ll just have to set the alarm.

Speaking of the Denver Broncos, guess who just signed with them as a free agent? That’s right, Corsicana’s own Louis Vasquez just signed a free-agent, four-year deal to play offensive guard in Denver. He got a ton of money, but it is money very well spent if he keeps those nasty opponents from creaming Saint Peyton over the next few years. The San Diego Chargers’ loss will certainly be the Denver Broncos gain.

To put things in perspective, here is how professional football hierarchy works. For offensive and defensive linemen like Louis, football is not a contact sport — it’s a collision sport. He will spend the next four years working in the scrimmage-line trenches in complete obscurity (unless they call a penalty on him) and every game will leave him muddied, bloodied, bruised, and battered. The only TV endorsement money offers he may get will probably come from Ben Gay or Advil. He will do all this for a mere $6 million or so per year, plus bonuses for playoff games and that Super Bowl win that Bronco linebacker Vaughn Miller has promised.

Peyton Manning, on the other hand, will get paid $20 million per year to look pretty, stay upright (thanks to Louis and his mates), run the craziest no-huddle offense in football, throw touchdown passes, and lead the Broncos to the promised land. While he is doing that, he will make untold millions selling Buicks, Papa John pizzas, ESPN, MasterCard, Gatorade, Reebock, Sprint, and DirecTV.

On a personal note, I must say that The Little Woman (she dislikes that name) is still looking for a replacement for Wendy Vasquez (Louis’ mother) to do her hair properly. Wendy snipped, clipped, and reverse-frosted TLW for many years and she misses her expertise and her friendship. We know that Wendy and Fabian must be very proud that their little boy (listed at 6’5” and 335 pounds) has made the big time in the Mile-Hi City.

Like TLW, I am also looking for a hairdresser. Can’t seem to find anyone who can cut a short flat-top like good old Hollis at Roy’s Barber Shop (Santos was good too). I’m about to have TLW take my clippers to my pumpkin head and give it a close buzz-job. I usually wear a hat so no one can see all the bumps, lumps, and scars I have up there anyway. Plus, I am at the age where the hair grows longer in and around my ears than on my pate.

Wow. Even as I was ranting this rant, the news came in that the Broncos also signed wide receiver Wes Welker to a two-year deal on the cheap (about the same per year as Louis). What were the Patriots thinking? Welker was in New England six years, made the Pro Bowl or All-Pro every year, and virtually holds all the franchise records for receiving. Adding him to the wide receiver mix of Thomas, Decker, and Stokeley gives the Broncos the best receiving corps in the NFL. Peyton Manning must be licking his chops about now. I can’t wait for the New England game this year and I’ll set that alarm if I have to. Oh, by the way, the Broncos play the Cowboys at Jerry’s World this year too.

Well, lookee here! I’ve talked more sports in my weekly “Opinion” column than Ron Morgan talks in his weekly “Sports” column. It is always a struggle to glean some actual sports news from amongst his dogmatic pontifications on everything from global warming to the cosmos to politics to his golf game. That being said, I enjoy his rants and his “sports” column is my first selection to read in the Saturday version of the Daily Sun. Yes, TLW and I still faithfully read our ex-hometown paper, even though we get it about a week late down here in the land of Ponce de Leon, alligators, and sink holes.

See ya...


Dick Platt is a Daily Sun columnist. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? Email: