Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


July 14, 2014

My TV is held hostage

Give me back my TV! The Sunday sports fare today is just pitiful as far as I am concerned. Over the past weeks, my normal sports programs has been rudely preempted by endless hours of Wimbledon tennis, the Tour de France, assorted motor sports, and the nauseating mega-million signing sagas of LeBron James and Carmello Anthony. The only available sport that features socks and jocks is baseball and that has little appeal to me until the playoffs.

Oh, I know, I know, the 2014 World Cup Championship Match is on all afternoon and most of the free and not-so-free world will be watching — except The Good Wife and me. I know these are tremendous athletes who can ran marathons up and down the pitch which is about the size of 1 1/2 football fields. It’s also a very grueling contact sport where collisions and takedowns occur frequently and the players are basically dressed with no more protective gear than basketball players.

I see the throngs of humanity watching these matches with so much emotion that deafening fan noise, melees, and serious injuries often result. Reports are that the entire host country of Brazil is rooting for Germany today in the finals because they hate the thought of arch-rival Argentina winning the championship. Two things I don’t understand about this situation: how can you root for the team that stomped on your team in the semis; and how can you love a sport where only parts of the body may be used?

I like golf and it is about my second favorite sport to watch, but enough is enough, already! Starting at 8 a.m. this morning, no less than five golf tournaments are being telecast and will go on into the wee hours. The announcers at all these venues are about as exciting as listening to two old ladies discussing their operations. Oh well, there’s always the hope that Phil Mickelson will start the final day of the Scottish Open with seven birdies and an eagle before he implodes and drives into the North Sea.

Thank God, the NFL pre-season starts on Aug. 7 and I can hardly wait. I guess I am a glutton for punishment, but I can’t wait until my Broncos are back in the fray. Super Bowl XLVII was certainly a crushing blow for Bronco fans, and me in particular. This humiliating defeat was played out before 112 million viewers and was the most-watched television program in U.S. history. Oh, the shame of it all! However, even without my participation, there is a good chance this year’s World Cup soccer may have set new viewing records.

There were a lot of first and near firsts in that game. It was the first Super Bowl played outdoors in a cold-weather city (East Rutherford, New Jersey). The 43-8 score was the third largest point differential in Super Bowl history.

For just the second time in the last 20 years that the number one seeds in each of the NFL conferences met in the Super Bowl. The game featured the league’s top offense (Denver) against the league’s top defense (Seattle) and we all know how that turned out. They just beat us like a bunch of left-handed, red-headed stepchildren!

Some other very sad firsts: The Seahawks scored a safety on the very first play from scrimmage — the quickest score in Super Bowl history. They were the first team in history to score a safety and touchdowns off a kickoff return and an interception. Oh, by the way, this was the first Super Bowl win for Seattle and the fifth (count em, five) Super Bowl loss for Denver.

I am compelled to compare the Super Bowl records of the Broncos and the Dallas Cowboys, because this is a rivalry I married into. There are some interesting similarities and some differences in the Super Bowl records. The Cowboys have five wins and three losses to a paltry two wins and five losses for Denver. These two teams have only met in the Super Bowl once back in 1978 and Dallas won 27-10. Both teams have enjoyed back-to-back victories in the Super Bowl — the Cowboys in 1993/94 and the Broncos in 1998/99. Both teams, and their fans, have suffered through long dry spells since their last Super Bowl Wins (Dallas 1996 and Denver 1999).

As I always do, I have printed off the 2014 schedules for both these teams and made the following observations: On Aug. 28, Denver travels to Dallas for the last pre-season game which no one will care about but a few of us die-hards. In addition to their usual in-conference foes both of these teams will have to play the teams in the NFC West — San Francisco, St. Louis, Seattle, and Arizona. Both teams will have to travel to that deafening snake pit up in Seattle. Ouch!

I am not going to predict the records for these two teams but I do see playoffs in the future for the Broncos. I will leave it to Ron Morgan to predict whether the Cowboys will get out of their 8-8 doldrums.

Closing with some chunks from the Grouch’s guano heap: Blessed are the cracked — for they shall let in the light! God must really love stupid people — for he’s made so many of them! Oh, you’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me! He who dies with the most toys is still, nonetheless, Dead! I keep hitting the “Escape” key but I’m still here!

See ya...


Dick Platt is a Daily Sun columnist. His column appears on Tuesdays.


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