Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

December 6, 2013

Getting a move on

By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun

Corsicana — It did get icy Friday, but it wasn’t too bad. A lot of us came in late to work, or didn’t go in at all. Cops, firefighters and pizza delivery people had to, of course, because there’s such a thing as essential services.

Speaking of pizza delivery people, I’m glad the poor guy who got robbed over on Northwood is fine. The robbers stole three pizzas and an order of chicken wings from him before running off on foot.

I asked what kinds of pizza they ordered, but that wasn’t in the police report. I thought that might be a clue. Sometimes, I imagine myself as Mrs. Marple, solving minor, non-lethal crimes in my own piddling, muddling kind of way. “The case of the hot hot wings,” has a nice ring, right?

It’s been an interesting week for strange mobile news in other parts of the country. In Gold Beach, Ore., police were called out because a local guy had bought a tank and couldn’t get it home, so the caretaker decided to drive the tank up the steep hill, according to a pretty amusing article in The Oregonian. The 58-year-old had never driven a tank before, but he had the owner’s manual, and how hard can it be?

Evidently, pretty hard. The 1969 Chieftain slipped out of gear and rolled back across a busy highway and through a guardrail that was not designed with 50-ton tanks in mind. When at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, so the guy did. The second time it rolled backwards, went through a guardrail, and down an embankment.

He was cited for reckless driving and criminal mischief for the damage to two guardrails. The tank was undamaged.

Speaking of unusual vehicles, James and Doug Kenison of Minnesota used their hovercrafts to rescue three deer stranded on a frozen lake last weekend and posted a video to YouTube. The deer couldn’t get a hoof-hold on the ice and were sprawled out like Bambi, so the men took their hovercraft out there, tied ropes around the middle of the exhausted deer and dragged them across the ice to land.

The hovercraft are about as big as a bass boat, and the two men run a business with the vehicles. As James told KAAL ABC 6 “We basically had all the equipment so we just said why not?”

Santa could consider trading in his sleigh for a hovercraft, then he could pull the reindeer instead of vice versa.

Finally, an alleged meth maker in Cortland, N.Y., who was running from police on a bicycle got arrested when he crashed into a parked police car, according to the Syracuse Post-Standard. Perhaps he was sampling his own wares?


Janet Jacobs may be reached via e-mail at Want to “sound off” to this article? E-mail: