Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

November 29, 2013

Loose lips sink criminal ships

By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun

— A big old section of my family is from Arkansas, so I can’t point fingers and make “hee haw” noises when dumb criminal stories come out of that state, but I’m still going to make fun.

A 68-year-old Jonesboro man butt-dialed his intended murder victim, then described how he was going to do it for an hour and a half. For the uninitiated, butt-dialing is when you sit on your cell phone and accidentally dial a number. This guy dialed the person he was contracting to have killed, making the victim into an audience for the plot. The victim called police and reported what he’d heard and the detectives found that his gas stove had indeed been sabotaged in the manner described. The 68-year-old was arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit murder, according to a press release from the Jonesboro Sheriff’s Office.

This should be a lesson for us all: If you’re going to commit a heinous crime against the laws of man and God, turn off your cell phone.

If our theme this week is dumb criminals who talk too much, we have to mention the guy who went into the Swifty Gas convenience store Monday and told the clerk he was going to rob the place, then returned two hours later and did. This took place in Franklin, Indiana, according to an article in the Indy Star.

Here’s the sad part: The clerk called the cops and gave them the guy’s description and license plate number, and when the robber came back the police missed him even though there was a cop sitting right outside the store. They did eventually catch him about five hours later and charged him with armed robbery. However, I can only assume jail’s a breeze compared with the humiliation that poor beleaguered stake-out cop is enduring from his co-workers.

Finally, we have Jodi Arias of Phoenix who killed her boyfriend and now has a love/hate fixation on the prosecuting attorney. The 33-year-old was found guilty of killing Travis Alexander last spring, but the jury couldn’t agree on a sentence so she’s going to get a second sentencing trial. During the first trial she testified on the stand for 18 solid days, describing their sex life in vivid detail, and claiming Alexander was abusive towards her — you know, before she stabbed him 27 times and shot him in the head. After the first trial Arias told her jail cellmate she intended to put a murder hit out on the deputy district attorney who tried her case. That is, between whining about why that same lawyer didn’t love her.

“’She’s out of her mind,’” Arias’ former cellmate told KSAZ-TV this past week.

I can’t imagine what could have tipped her off.

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Janet Jacobs may be reached via email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “soundoff” to this article? Email: Soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com