Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

February 18, 2014

Pets are better

By Dick Platt
Corsicana Daily Sun

Corsicana — I found a cute article on Yahoo that was entitled “10 Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Boyfriends,” which I think warrants some discussion. First of all, I must confess to being a lifelong dog lover who has been a cat owner for the last 17 years or so. The Good Wife (she likes that name better) and I had many dogs over the years in many locations and loved every one of them and mourned when we lost them.

Our very best dog ever, Nitnoy, was acquired in a flea market in Bangkok, Thailand and we hauled him to Mesquite, Texas, La Mesa, Calif., and Denver, Colo. Several dogs later, TGW rescued Annie the Cat from The Dumb Friends while we were in our last house in Denver and she has been part of the family ever since.

The actual author of the piece is not listed but, in computer-speak, the byline read, “By: Pet360.com.” It is obviously written from the female perspective and makes the point that girls/ women should not lament over the fact they have no male significant others in their lives and they should, “...make a date with your loyal pooch instead. Dogs are better than boyfriends anyways--and here are ten reasons why!” With your indulgence, I am going to agree with or rebut the comments by detailing why TGW does not need a dog in her life at this stage.

10 - Dogs Never Cheat. They don’t call dogs (wo)man’s best friend for nothing. You’ll always come home to find them waiting patiently for your return, tail wagging; not canoodling with someone else.” Comment: Did you catch the subtle way she put “(wo)” in front of “man’s best friend?” Like her dog I’m always wagging my tail at TGW’s return to our nest and I’m certainly never canoodling (whatever that is).

9 - Dogs Don’t Care if You Put on a Few Pounds...the more you weigh, the more there is to cuddle with...” Comment: This is exactly the reason I now weigh 80 pounds more than when TGW and I married.

8 - They Love to Cuddle. When was the last time a boyfriend just wanted to spend the evening cuddling?” Comment: Honestly, I must say that I come up a little short in this department but Annie the Cat does enough cuddling for both of us.    

7 - The Later You Are, The More Excited Your Dog is to See You.” Comment: I get worried when TGW is later than she should be because she’s out amongst the surging “snowbird” traffic in a 14-year-old car and stuff happens. When I finally hear the garage door opening, I immediately start to wag my tail in anticipation of her smiling face and the opportunity to carry in, and put away, a trunk-load full of groceries. Oh, yes, and I throw in a quick cuddle too!

6 - Dogs Never Come Home Drunk.” Comment: Me neither!

5 - Dogs Aren’t Threatened If You Earn More...in fact they kind of expect you to. How else are you going to afford all their kibbles?” Comment: Actually, my government pensions outstrip TGW’s Social Security and civilian pension but we are a co-op and very thankful for what we have.

4 - They Feel Guilty When They Do Something Wrong.” Comment: How true this is. Every dog we ever had (except Betsy who chewed everything) expressed remorse when they made a mess. I am the same way and I hate it when TGW has to scold me. Annie the Cat, on the other hand, will hawk up a hairball and then play with it!

3 - They Love When Your Friends Come Over...your dog will see it as an opportunity to mooch for more attention.” Comment: I can identify with this one--in fact, TGW will tell you that I tend to be the life of the party to the point of being overbearing. Annie the Cat, however, is a recluse when strangers are in the house.

2 - They Never Complain About Your Cooking...Whether it be dry, wet, store-bought or home-cooked--your dog will inhale it like it’s the best meal ever created.” Since I do all the cooking (well, almost all the cooking), I am always looking for positive reinforcement from TGW about the chow I prepare and I get testy about any less than stellar reviews. Annie the Cat is not the least bit fussy--as long as her dish is down at 7:30 a.m.; treats at 2 p.m.; and din-din with phenobarbital at 5 p.m.

1 - You Can Train a Dog...Boyfriends come already ingrained with their own habits, like leaving the toilet seat up or peeing on the seat. And when you complain, they tell you you’re just supposed to love them for who they are--the good and the bad. But, with dogs, you can train them where and when to use the bathroom, you can train them to stay off the couch, you can even train them not to whine...give them some treats and they’ll just be happy pleasing you!”

Comment: This is me and Annie the Cat to a tee! Well, actually, there are two minor exceptions. Annie will plop down anywhere she pleases and I tend to whine from time to time. However, we both start to purr when TGW provides us with treats.

See ya...

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Dick Platt is a Daily Sun columnist. His column appears on Tuesdays. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? Email: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com