Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


June 16, 2013

Father’s Day dilemma

What to get my father for Father’s Day is one of those no-win situations, like nuclear war or when you’re eating something someone worked really hard to cook but it’s awful. Lie and they poison their own family. Tell the truth and you’re an insensitive jerk. You’re toast, either way.

Dad has reached the age when candy and booze are a bad idea. A home-cooked meal is always cool, but we do that every couple of weeks anyway, so it’s not like it’s special anymore. I’ve tried talking him into letting us take him to Fogo de Chow in Dallas, a Brazilian restaurant I think he’d love, but he doesn’t like being in Dallas traffic, or being so far away from home when he could be out running around and doing stuff.

My sister and I offered to fly him to Alaska this summer, but he’s holding out hope that our nation’s largest state will break off, float down the West coast, around South America and back up and lodge somewhere more conveniently close, preferably just off Galveston. Because that is apparently more likely than getting him on an airplane.

The usual Dad stuff is also out. If he sees something he likes he just goes and buys it. I’d criticize, but I’m the same way. I know what I want, no guessing necessary. It just makes sense to buy your own gifts, even if it is party poopery.

This means no fishing gear, ties, cologne, shirts, hats, wallets, watches or slippers.

I’ve tried. Lord knows, I’ve tried.

For awhile, I got on this kick of giving him flashlights. We quickly went through the usual suspects — your standard big old Black and Deckers, your MagLites, and then I delved into the bizarre — the snake-lights and ones with fans and radios attached. The poor guy got flashlights for Christmas, his birthday and Father’s Day for at least two years, maybe three. It was pathetic. I knew I’d gone too far when my step-mom regifted one of them to me. Apparently, they had a room full of flashlights and didn’t know what to do with them all.

Then came the gift cards, the last defense of those with a feeble imagination. Gift cards to Home Depot, his favorite restaurants, etc. Hey, I like gift cards, personally, but they are weak.

So this year, it’s gonna be electronics. I haven’t decided yet if he’s getting a BluRay player or a Jitterbug. Either way, it won’t be what he wants.

What he really wants is for Alaska to break off and float to Houston.


Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via email at Want to “sound off” to this column? Email:

Text Only
  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg When 'breaking news' was fragile

    The lesson, hammered by countless journalism teachers for century(s), was intended to be cattle-branded into minds of aspiring writers who would go forth to inform readers about what’s going on in the world. And it was emphasized that “getting it right” was preferable to “getting it first.”

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg Highly questionable

    As you have probably surmised, I am just about addicted to my TV, and especially to jock shows throughout the day. I usually start my day with a couple hours of “Imus in the Morning,” just to broaden my horizons in the areas of politics, investments, current events, show business, and a plethora of other topics

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Technology versus common sense

    The gadgets of the future will include an internet-assisted backyard grill, according to news accounts this past week.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg Salute to 'Mr. Derrick Days'

    I can’t help but think back to the “near-death experience” that Derrick Days had 14 years ago, and how one man’s determination brought it back.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Resurrection

    I was 29-years-old when my father died of multiple myeloma, cancer of the bone marrow.  He was 53 years of age. Only hours before his death, I spoke with him. Our eyes met during that final visit, the same eye contact we had shared from my birth.

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg It’s about time

    Some aspect of time steals quietly into our psyche in all conscious moments, and our use or abuse of it is central to much poetry, lyrics, scripts, conversations — you name it.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The Wonderlic Test

    Did you hear the one about Texas A&M’s “Johnny Football” Manziel testing better than all the other quarterbacks in this year’s NFL Scouting Combine? No, this is not the start of an Aggie joke.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg Work Out? Bite your tongue!

    I've shared this before, but it bears repeating. I'm a lot like my late, dear Daddy … whose idea of “working out” was a good, brisk sit.
    Amen, Daddy. Me too.

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Letters to the Editor for Saturday, April 12, 2014

    Thanks for service
    To the Editor: The Blooming Grove Elementary School would like to express appreciation to several individuals and businesses that for three years have provided a “free” vision exam and eyeglasses for many of our students.

    April 11, 2014

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Uncle Mort: For the Birds

    Personal experiences racked up across three-quarters of a century — including yips and yaps at lecterns spanning five decades — offer positive proof that many times, utter silence is preferable to spoken words.

    April 9, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Bon Jovi Helps Open Low-income Housing in Philly Pipeline Opponents Protest on National Mall Hagel Gets Preview of New High-tech Projects S.C. Man Apologizes for Naked Walk in Wal-Mart New Country Music Hall of Fame Inductees Named 'Piles' of Bodies in South Sudan Slaughter New Yorkers Celebrate Cherry Blossom Blooms SCOTUS Hears Tv-over-Internet Case Justice Dept. Broadening Criteria for Clemency Chief Mate: Crew Told to Escape After Passengers 'Miss Meadows' Takes Holmes Back to Her Roots Biden: Russia Must Stop Talking, Start Acting David Moyes Out As Manchester United Manager Raw: Leopard Bites Man in India Iowa College Finds Beauty in Bulldogs High Court to Hear Dispute of TV Over Internet Stowaway Teen Forces Review of Airport Security
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates