Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

Opinion

March 29, 2013

Seeking the weird

In my never-ending quest to find the weird in the world, I stumbled across the story from Houston about the woman with a bee swarm attached to the tire of her pickup. You can see it on KHOU.com, if you’re curious. After animal control told her “Not our gig,” the TV reporter called a pest control guy who suited up and used a broom head, dustpan and a cardboard box to sweep “most” of the bees into the box, which he then duct-taped closed and walked away with it.

In the interview, the woman said that she had thought about driving away with the bees attached to her tire, but reconsidered. Yeah, sometimes that second thought is the right one.

And because there’s Florida, which is God’s gift to weirdness fans like myself, we have the story of the grandmother who downed two bottles of “diluted” vodka before helping to chaperone an elementary school field trip to Wonder Works last week, according to ClickOrlando, the website for WKMG, channel 6.

I looked it up and Wonder Works is one of those mystery spot places where they have the furniture nailed to the ceiling, wind tunnels, and laser tag. The 58-year-old is also apparently a belligerent drunk so she got into a shouting match with another chaperone, cussed, and fell down on the bus.

The trip was still educational for the kids who got to see an up-close arrest, putting all that fantasy into perspective. Her grandkids are probably scarred forever, but next time they need a chaperone they won’t come bugging that woman. She’s got an out for life.

“No, no, we don’t need your grandmother to chaperone. I’ve got a comatose cousin we can drag along. It’ll be fine.”

Speaking of questionable decision-making, there’s a YouTube phenomena where daredevils tie off ropes on one of those big stone arches out in Utah and swing from it. The arch is 140 feet tall and the videos are pretty compelling. But the world’s biggest swingset isn’t as fun if you’re the 22-year-old who decided last week to use a 145-foot-long rope.

Remember kids, math is not the enemy — gravity is.

And just to show that I’m not a completely heartless person, I’m ending this on a positive note: A Kansas City homeless man who returned a $4,000 engagement ring to the woman who lost it in his beggar’s cup refused the reward, so the ring’s owner set up a fund to collect money for him. It’s up to $185,000, and the fame he’s gotten has reunited him with his family, according to KCTV.

America can be so cool. Weird, but cool.

            —————

Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Corsicana Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “soundoff” to this column? Email: Soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com

1
Text Only
Opinion
  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg When 'breaking news' was fragile

    The lesson, hammered by countless journalism teachers for century(s), was intended to be cattle-branded into minds of aspiring writers who would go forth to inform readers about what’s going on in the world. And it was emphasized that “getting it right” was preferable to “getting it first.”

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg Highly questionable

    As you have probably surmised, I am just about addicted to my TV, and especially to jock shows throughout the day. I usually start my day with a couple hours of “Imus in the Morning,” just to broaden my horizons in the areas of politics, investments, current events, show business, and a plethora of other topics

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Technology versus common sense

    The gadgets of the future will include an internet-assisted backyard grill, according to news accounts this past week.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg Salute to 'Mr. Derrick Days'

    I can’t help but think back to the “near-death experience” that Derrick Days had 14 years ago, and how one man’s determination brought it back.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Resurrection

    I was 29-years-old when my father died of multiple myeloma, cancer of the bone marrow.  He was 53 years of age. Only hours before his death, I spoke with him. Our eyes met during that final visit, the same eye contact we had shared from my birth.

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg It’s about time

    Some aspect of time steals quietly into our psyche in all conscious moments, and our use or abuse of it is central to much poetry, lyrics, scripts, conversations — you name it.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The Wonderlic Test

    Did you hear the one about Texas A&M’s “Johnny Football” Manziel testing better than all the other quarterbacks in this year’s NFL Scouting Combine? No, this is not the start of an Aggie joke.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg Work Out? Bite your tongue!

    I've shared this before, but it bears repeating. I'm a lot like my late, dear Daddy … whose idea of “working out” was a good, brisk sit.
    Amen, Daddy. Me too.

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Letters to the Editor for Saturday, April 12, 2014

    Thanks for service
    To the Editor: The Blooming Grove Elementary School would like to express appreciation to several individuals and businesses that for three years have provided a “free” vision exam and eyeglasses for many of our students.

    April 11, 2014

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Uncle Mort: For the Birds

    Personal experiences racked up across three-quarters of a century — including yips and yaps at lecterns spanning five decades — offer positive proof that many times, utter silence is preferable to spoken words.

    April 9, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
U.S. Paratroopers in Poland, Amid Ukraine Crisis US Reviews Clemency for Certain Inmates Raw: Violence Erupts in Rio Near Olympic Venue Raw: Deadly Bombing in Egypt Raw: What's Inside a Commercial Jet Wheel Well Raw: Obama Arrives in Japan for State Visit Raw: Anti-Obama Activists Fight Manila Police Motels Near Disney Fighting Homeless Problem Michigan Man Sees Thanks to 'bionic Eye' Obama to Oso: We'll Be Here As Long As It Takes Bon Jovi Helps Open Low-income Housing in Philly S.C. Man Apologizes for Naked Walk in Wal-Mart New Country Music Hall of Fame Inductees Named 'Piles' of Bodies in South Sudan Slaughter SCOTUS Hears Tv-over-Internet Case Chief Mate: Crew Told to Escape After Passengers
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates