Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

March 29, 2013

Seeking the weird

By Janet Jacobs
Corsicana Daily Sun

— In my never-ending quest to find the weird in the world, I stumbled across the story from Houston about the woman with a bee swarm attached to the tire of her pickup. You can see it on KHOU.com, if you’re curious. After animal control told her “Not our gig,” the TV reporter called a pest control guy who suited up and used a broom head, dustpan and a cardboard box to sweep “most” of the bees into the box, which he then duct-taped closed and walked away with it.

In the interview, the woman said that she had thought about driving away with the bees attached to her tire, but reconsidered. Yeah, sometimes that second thought is the right one.

And because there’s Florida, which is God’s gift to weirdness fans like myself, we have the story of the grandmother who downed two bottles of “diluted” vodka before helping to chaperone an elementary school field trip to Wonder Works last week, according to ClickOrlando, the website for WKMG, channel 6.

I looked it up and Wonder Works is one of those mystery spot places where they have the furniture nailed to the ceiling, wind tunnels, and laser tag. The 58-year-old is also apparently a belligerent drunk so she got into a shouting match with another chaperone, cussed, and fell down on the bus.

The trip was still educational for the kids who got to see an up-close arrest, putting all that fantasy into perspective. Her grandkids are probably scarred forever, but next time they need a chaperone they won’t come bugging that woman. She’s got an out for life.

“No, no, we don’t need your grandmother to chaperone. I’ve got a comatose cousin we can drag along. It’ll be fine.”

Speaking of questionable decision-making, there’s a YouTube phenomena where daredevils tie off ropes on one of those big stone arches out in Utah and swing from it. The arch is 140 feet tall and the videos are pretty compelling. But the world’s biggest swingset isn’t as fun if you’re the 22-year-old who decided last week to use a 145-foot-long rope.

Remember kids, math is not the enemy — gravity is.

And just to show that I’m not a completely heartless person, I’m ending this on a positive note: A Kansas City homeless man who returned a $4,000 engagement ring to the woman who lost it in his beggar’s cup refused the reward, so the ring’s owner set up a fund to collect money for him. It’s up to $185,000, and the fame he’s gotten has reunited him with his family, according to KCTV.

America can be so cool. Weird, but cool.

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Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Corsicana Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “soundoff” to this column? Email: Soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com