Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

Opinion

February 15, 2013

Thank a Texan

In case you were wondering, the Texan sitting next to you is a hero of the planet.

A European weather satellite reports that the hole in the ozone over the South Pole is getting smaller. The layer of ozone, which protects us from frying under the sun like ants under a magnifying glass, has been getting thinner and developing holes since the 1970s, but bans on CFCs in spray cans and air conditioners have evidently helped because now the hole is smaller than it has been in the last 10 years, according to the people who look at satellite pictures of holes for a living.

And who suffers more from wimpy hair spray and weak air conditioning than Texans? No one, that’s who. We deserve a medal.

There were a few weird criminal stories in the news this week, NONE of which involved anyone from Navarro County, or Texas in general, which chokes me up a little from pride, so I thought I’d share the wealth.

• A guy named John Wood, 37, was attacked in Wisbech, (in England) by four guys, whom he whomped while holding his take-out order of fish and chips in one hand. He kicked two of them in the knees, and punched the third. The fourth guy stabbed him in the chest with a screwdriver before he managed to get it away from the attacker and threw it away. He then drove home and ate dinner because who wants cold fried fish and fries? Nobody, especially the Chuck Norris of England. Afterwards, he drove himself to the hospital because he said the hole in his chest “felt odd.”

Well, yeah, a screwdriver to the chest will do that.

• An odd duck in Ontario is being sued because he plotted to steal a walrus from Marineland, according to QMI Agency news. The guy wanted to do a reality TV show called the Walrus Whisperer, but was rejected. The stealing of “Smooshi,” the walrus in question, wasn’t explained well.

I have a couple or a hundred questions about the plot, including to “how do you steal a walrus?” and “what do you do with it once you have it?” But none of those were evidently detailed in the lawsuit. Too sad.

• A registered sex offender from Hoquiam, Wash., was arrested for drilling holes in his neighbor’s ceiling and watching her from above. The guy got into the crawlspace above her apartment, then drilled the holes. It was her cats that gave it away. They started watching the watcher, which caused the woman to look up and see what was so interesting.

Finally, the cats rescue the girl.

           —————

Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Corsicana Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached by email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? Email: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com

1
Text Only
Opinion
  • Janet Jacobs Dumb and dumber in the blotter

    When it comes to dumb criminals, nothing beats the would-be gang of car burglars who tried to break into a car in Tampa, Florida, this past week.

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg ‘Change’ — old "buzz word" shows up in our town

    If you pay much attention when you’re driving around town lately (and I really hope that you do — pay attention, that is) you can’t help but admit we’ve seen some “change” as of late. And, contrary to the political connotations that word will forever carry with it now, that “change” we’re seeing is good.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Germany present and past

    Last Sunday evening my wife and I stood on the balcony of our apartment in Nuremberg and watched as fireworks lit up the sky.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Where strawberries are king

    In 1949, when Stilwell, Oklahoma’s “Strawberry Festival” was just one year old, crooners were applauded when they cut loose with Dear Hearts and Gentle People.

    July 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg My TV is held hostage

    Give me back my TV! The Sunday sports fare today is just pitiful as far as I am concerned. Over the past weeks, my normal sports programs has been rudely preempted by endless hours of Wimbledon tennis, the Tour de France, assorted motor sports, and the nauseating mega-million signing sagas of LeBron James and Carmello Anthony

    July 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Thoughts from abroad

    So, with the generosity of Mastercard and warm encouragement of my friends who went with me, I went to Italy on vacation. Not Italy, Texas, the one in Europe.

    July 13, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg For a community that’s hurting

    I think all would agree that our community is hurting right now.
    It seems like some weeks, our quota of tragedy and loss just goes through the roof. This is one of those weeks.

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley An inspiring life

    Last week, while Americans prepared their fireworks for the fourth of July, Louis Zamparini quietly slipped the bonds of this earth at the age of 97.

    July 10, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The 'H-O-A' and You

    If you live in Florida, homeowner associations (HOAs) are pretty much a fact of life. An HOA is a corporation formed, usually by a real estate developer, for the purpose of marketing, managing, and selling homes, condominiums, and apartments within a new residential development.

    July 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Guest Commentary: Public's right to know is a worthy legislative agenda

     Last week’s Texas Press Association convention in Corpus Christi served as a reminder to elected officials that We the People own the government. The reminder didn’t take the negative tone of a warning or a threat, but of positive reinforcement in recognizing four of those elected officials who defended the people’s right to a free flow of their information.

    July 6, 2014

AP Video
Raw: MH17 Passenger Remains in Kharkiv, Ukraine Raw: Israel Hits Gaza Targets, Destroys Mosques ShowBiz Minute: Hoffman, Oberst, Box Office WWII Vet Gets Medals, 70 Years Late Raw: Israel Bombs Multiple Targets in Gaza Veteran Creates Job During High Unemployment Raw: Cargo Craft Undocks From Space Station Widow: Jury Sent Big Tobacco a $23B Message New Orleans Plans to Recycle Cigarette Butts UN Security Council Calls for MH 17 Crash Probe Obama Bestows Medal of Honor on NH Veteran Texas Sending National Guard Troops to Border Hopkins to Pay $190M After Pelvic Exams Taped Foxx Cites Washington 'Circus Mirror' NASA Ceremony Honors Moon Walker Neil Armstrong
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates