Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

Opinion

September 14, 2012

‘60 Minutes’ of delay

Join the discussion on this commentary by using the Facebook app to the right

We live in wonderful times for lazy people. We not only have color TV and air conditioning, but we have Digital Video Recorders (DVRs) that will tape up to 300 mind-boggling, butt-numbing hours of color TV that we can watch in our air conditioning. This is truly the Golden Age of couch potato-hood.

Nevertheless, I have a complaint: During football season I usually miss out on “60 Minutes.”

It’s an occupational hazard that I’m a news junkie. And “60 Minutes” is great, except for Lara Logan, who’s just creepily awful.

When her lips move this is all I hear: “In a business where substance and integrity matter, I’m the exact opposite of all that.” Except it’s said in a breathy little voice with a South African accent, which somehow makes it worse.

But this is CBS, which means someone high up has something wrong with his brain. My proof is that this is also the network that remains stumped by the mystery of how long a football game lasts.

Even I know you don’t make dinner plans for 8:45 p.m. if your game starts at 6 p.m., so why doesn’t CBS?

If I were actively watching the game it wouldn’t be an issue, but I’m not the big fan other people in my family are when it comes to random football games. As it is, I trust my DVR to tape “60 Minutes” while I flit around doing other things on Sunday evenings.

In case you haven’t gotten one yet, a DVR is the modern-day equivalent of a VCR. It records shows and plays them back, but it does it automatically. You tell it what show, and the DVR will record it, even if the evil geniuses running the network move your show’s time slot from 7 p.m. Tuesday to 8:30 p.m. Friday to 1 a.m. every alternate Saturday. The DVR doesn’t care. It laughs at such petty network games.

But it is also very literal. If the network says something will start at 6 p.m., the DVR takes that to mean that show will start at 6 p.m., not at an unspecified time in the near future.

CBS, which has chosen to adopt some technology but ignore other bits of it, announced this week that it has solved the problem of the “60 Minutes” delay: They will Tweet about it. I’m not kidding. CBS is going to Tweet, e-mail, and text people when “60 Minutes” is going to be delayed — on the outside chance that there could be a time-out or the clock gets stopped during a football game. But really what are the odds of that happening?

Yippee for modern communications, because now I’ll know when my show is being delayed. The problem is that my DVR still won’t know, because it doesn’t have a Twitter, e-mail or text account.

I don’t know what my DVR would be Tweeting all day when it’s at home alone. It might complain about the having to record so much nonsense from TNT, but I suspect it would have something to do with stupid schedulers at networks.

                       —————

Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Corsicana Daily Sun. Her column appears on Sundays. She may be reached by email at jjacobs@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? Email: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com

1
Text Only
Opinion
  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Old, new, borrowed, blue

       Dissection of notes found in the pocket of an old suit isn’t easy. Maybe they were scrawled during the lull in a wedding ceremony, or to jog my memory of a joke for later use.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg Spam french fries

    I saw a relatively disturbing video and article on Yahoo which touted making Spam French fires to go alongside your big old ground chuck burger. I just can’t imagine a basket full of these deep-fried cholesterol-loaded sticks, but there they were, bigger than Texas.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Dumb and dumber in the blotter

    When it comes to dumb criminals, nothing beats the would-be gang of car burglars who tried to break into a car in Tampa, Florida, this past week.

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg ‘Change’ — old "buzz word" shows up in our town

    If you pay much attention when you’re driving around town lately (and I really hope that you do — pay attention, that is) you can’t help but admit we’ve seen some “change” as of late. And, contrary to the political connotations that word will forever carry with it now, that “change” we’re seeing is good.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Germany present and past

    Last Sunday evening my wife and I stood on the balcony of our apartment in Nuremberg and watched as fireworks lit up the sky.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Where strawberries are king

    In 1949, when Stilwell, Oklahoma’s “Strawberry Festival” was just one year old, crooners were applauded when they cut loose with Dear Hearts and Gentle People.

    July 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg My TV is held hostage

    Give me back my TV! The Sunday sports fare today is just pitiful as far as I am concerned. Over the past weeks, my normal sports programs has been rudely preempted by endless hours of Wimbledon tennis, the Tour de France, assorted motor sports, and the nauseating mega-million signing sagas of LeBron James and Carmello Anthony

    July 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Thoughts from abroad

    So, with the generosity of Mastercard and warm encouragement of my friends who went with me, I went to Italy on vacation. Not Italy, Texas, the one in Europe.

    July 13, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg For a community that’s hurting

    I think all would agree that our community is hurting right now.
    It seems like some weeks, our quota of tragedy and loss just goes through the roof. This is one of those weeks.

    July 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley An inspiring life

    Last week, while Americans prepared their fireworks for the fourth of July, Louis Zamparini quietly slipped the bonds of this earth at the age of 97.

    July 10, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Judge Faces Heat Over Offer to Help Migrant Kids Kerry: No Deal Yet on 7-Day Gaza Truce Kangaroo Goes Missing in Oklahoma More M17 Bodies Return, Sanctions on Russia Grow Gaza Residents Mourn Dead Amid Airstrikes Raw: Deadly Tornado Hits Virginia Campground Ohio State Marching Band Chief Fired After Probe Raw: Big Rig Stuck in Illinois Swamp Cumberbatch Brings 'Penguins' to Comic-Con Raw: Air Algerie Crash Site in Mali Power to Be Restored After Wash. Wildfire Crashed Air Algerie Plane Found in Mali Israel Mulls Ceasefire Amid Gaza Offensive In Case of Fire, Oxygen Masks for Pets Mobile App Gives Tour of Battle of Atlanta Sites
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates