Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


January 19, 2013

Austin festivities in full swing

Corsicana — Every two years, the great State of Texas gives us all a gift in the form of the Texas Legislature.

All 181 of these sometimes smart, wonderfully goofy folks are in fine fettle, filing bills and having a big old time. As with any group of mostly guys, there’s a generous degree of chest-beating and howling, as if the loudest and meanest legislator will get all the women and the biggest portion of food.

Somebody should probably tell them it doesn’t work that way anymore, but it’s not going to be me. I get too much amusement out of their preening.

Various bills have been filed to get rid of or at least ease up on the use of testing in schools, which has a lot of supporters. Several bills would propose giving retired teachers a raise, or making their raises tied to something in reality. At least one bill would change the name of the Railroad Commission to the Oil and Gas Commission, which is a good idea about 70 years late.

I read at least three or four bills to make people who want financial aid take drug tests. Sure, because the possibility of losing their Lone Star Card will clean those addicts right up.

Having a perverse sense of humor, my favorites are the ones that swing wide of the whole “I’m a responsible adult who recognizes that I’m writing laws that will affect millions of people,” and seem more to be written from the attitude of “What happens if I push this button?” school of legislative thinking.

Along those lines we have the bill by our very own senator Brian Birdwell that college kids come with guns, Rep. Flynn’s idea that we should post the 10 commandments in public school classrooms, Rep. Huberty’s proposal to arm school board members, another allowing jails to house prisoners in tents, Zedler’s bill to protect college teachers who don’t like Darwin, and a ban on human cloning at colleges.

By the way, the cloning thing is only for colleges, so Drane science fair kids? Now’s your chance.

Another proposed bill would prohibit the selling of any sodas to students on school campuses.

You know, maybe instead of banning sodas we could teach students how to drink them responsibly? I know what you’re thinking, it sounds like I’m using an analogy here, but I’m not. When you accidentally or intentionally spray all the people around you with Mountain Dew they just get sticky.

If there’s one bill that everyone should support overwhelmingly it’s the little bill filed by Rep. Alvaredo limiting the size of fifth-grade classrooms to 22 students. Honestly, I’ve substituted in fifth-grade classrooms and the legal limit ought to be five, but any more than 22 should be criminal.


Janet Jacobs may be reached via e-mail at Want to “sound off” to this article? E-mail:


Text Only
  • Deanna Kirk The times, they are a-changin

    A gentleman called our office early in the week, more than a bit upset.

    August 1, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Flipping out over flip-tops

    Somewhere between the admonition to avoid looks at gift horse’s mouths and the dangers of Greeks bearing gifts should be warnings about acceptance of gifts from offspring.

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg ‘Spilling doze count’

    My subject is borrowed from a local contributor to the Sarasota Herald Tribune named Bob Parkinson.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Deanna Kirk Water Park woes

    I’ve come to the realization that vacations are not a luxury, they’re a necessity.

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Old, new, borrowed, blue

       Dissection of notes found in the pocket of an old suit isn’t easy. Maybe they were scrawled during the lull in a wedding ceremony, or to jog my memory of a joke for later use.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg Spam french fries

    I saw a relatively disturbing video and article on Yahoo which touted making Spam French fires to go alongside your big old ground chuck burger. I just can’t imagine a basket full of these deep-fried cholesterol-loaded sticks, but there they were, bigger than Texas.

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Janet Jacobs Dumb and dumber in the blotter

    When it comes to dumb criminals, nothing beats the would-be gang of car burglars who tried to break into a car in Tampa, Florida, this past week.

    July 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Belcher, Bob.jpg ‘Change’ — old "buzz word" shows up in our town

    If you pay much attention when you’re driving around town lately (and I really hope that you do — pay attention, that is) you can’t help but admit we’ve seen some “change” as of late. And, contrary to the political connotations that word will forever carry with it now, that “change” we’re seeing is good.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Germany present and past

    Last Sunday evening my wife and I stood on the balcony of our apartment in Nuremberg and watched as fireworks lit up the sky.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Where strawberries are king

    In 1949, when Stilwell, Oklahoma’s “Strawberry Festival” was just one year old, crooners were applauded when they cut loose with Dear Hearts and Gentle People.

    July 16, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Renewed Violence Taking Toll on Gaza Residents 2 Americans Detained in North Korea Seek Help US Employers Add 209K Jobs, Rate 6.2 Pct House GOP Optimistic About New Border Bill Gaza Truce Unravels; Israel, Hamas Trade Blame Raw: Tunisia Closes Borders With Libya Four Rescued From Crashed Plane Couple Channel Grief Into Soldiers' Retreat WWI Aviation Still Alive at Aerodrome in NY Raw: Rescuers at Taiwan Explosion Scene Raw: Woman Who Faced Death Over Faith in N.H. Clinton Before 9-11: Could Have Killed Bin Laden Netanyahu Vows to Destroy Hamas Tunnels Obama Slams Republicans Over Lawsuit House Leaders Trade Blame for Inaction
Featured Ads
Twitter Updates