Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

October 25, 2013

Gettin’ old ain’t for sissies

By Deanna Kirk
Corsicana Daily Sun

— You know — why didn’t anyone tell me I was supposed to be moisturizing my neck and chest?

I was just as shocked one day to look in the mirror and see a creepy, droopy, wrinkled “old lady neck” as I was that day when I suddenly couldn’t see myself in the makeup mirror anymore. That time, all I had to do to adapt was make a trip to the store for a magnifying mirror ... but this! I’m piling the moisturizer on like mad, as if it can somehow reverse the damage that’s already evident.

And we won’t even go there about the reading glasses I have to stash strategically any place I might actually have to read something. Are they making the letters in printed stuff smaller and smaller?

I forget my texts look any different than anyone else’s until I’m around a young person and they see how big my letters are. I think Sidney Kirk took pity on me long ago and blew up my text letters to some big huge font so I can read texts without cheaters ... but sometimes I forget we did that until a kid makes fun of me.  

I think I started coloring my hair around age 14 or 15, but suddenly, it seemed more like a chore than something “fun.” Once I had to touch up my roots every two weeks to tamp down the gray, it really lost its luster. So, if you see me sporting a nice white racing stripe down the top of my head, it’s because I’ve sworn off hair color and just gonna take what comes.

I had to go see Dr. Malone this week and get a shot in my shoulder. One day, my left arm hurt like who’d-a-thunk-it. I just knew I’d blown out some more discs in my neck and would have to have another discectomy. The arm hurt and was numb and tingly. But, once I was in his office, prepared for the worst, he simply said after performing several tests, that it most likely was a case of tendonitis in my rotator cuff, and a nice cortisone shot would fix me right up.

Now mind you, the week before the Youth Expo (so that would be in March of this year) I had to beg them to get me in sooner, because my right arm was hurting so bad I had trouble functioning. I just knew I wouldn’t be able to juggle a camera, my purse, a notepad, etc. at the barn with this dud wing. Well, that time, it was tendonitis in my elbow (and no I sure don’t play tennis) so a nice cortisone shot in my elbow and I was good as new.

What’s all that about?

All my life I’ve had that nice 120/80 blood pressure. Even through my kids’ teen years, my divorces, all the other angst and upheaval in my life, my blood pressure remained a steady 120/80.

Now that I have less stress than I have in the past 20 years, my blood pressure is through the roof.

What on earth is that about?

I do not like this getting old. I know it beats the alternative, but why can’t they issue a manual with this so you know what’s coming?

I do not like this getting old. I do not like the saggy skin, the blurry eyes, the need for bold.

I do not like the aches and pains, I do not like the foggy brain.

I do not like taking all these pills. I do not like these brand new ills.

I do not like this getting old.

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Deanna Kirk is a Daily Sun staff writer and editor of Explore magazine. She may be reached via email at dkirk@corsicanadailysun.com. Want to Sound Off on this column? Email soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com