Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


September 8, 2013

Comedy Gold

I have one of the best jobs in America right up there with that guy who taste-tests Dryer’s ice cream because part of my job each week is to troll the Internet looking for stuff that amuses me.

Everyone else has to do it for free.

On I found the story of Milo, a terrier-looking dog with a shiny brown coat and an embarrassed look on its face sitting in a dog basket. Milo’s explanation of why he deserves to be shamed? “I ripped the leash away to chase a skunk. Dad lunged after me and fell. The skunk squirted him in his eyes and up his nostrils. He vomited and threw up in the neighbor’s driveway and couldn’t find me because he was blinded for several minutes. I got a trip to the groomer the next day, that’s why I look so fine. Dad took a “skunk day,” off work.”

First, Milo’s “Dad” is the nicest, coolest human in the world because Milo is clearly a handful. Skunk up the nose and in the eyes from ground level? That’s the kind of thing that the U.N. forbids by international treaty because it’s too inhumane. But this guy’s reaction was to show mercy both to his bad dog and then to his co-workers, and then was able to laugh about it.

I also spend a lot of time on, which gathers humorous and weird news articles from around the world.

Fark is how I found the article on Oklahoma City’s KFOR-TV in which a pantless female burglar broke into a suburban home and ate the family’s milk and cookies. The woman of the house confronted the thief who identified herself as “Michelle,” which is a rookie mistake for a burglar, along with losing your pants as you try to shimmy in the window. When the woman ran to get her husband, the thief disappeared. Police arrested “Michelle” 10 minutes later.

If you didn’t see the photo of the Vicksburg, Miss., guy who caught the giant alligator Sunday, it’s worth booting up the computer because that’s just frightening. The critter was about 12-foot long and weighed 727 pounds. The guy who got credit for it said he was going to make it into boots and wallets. I’m not judging, because I like nice footwear as much as the next woman, but he fought a 700-pound prehistoric lizard. Maybe he could try to sound a little less like Carrie from “Sex and the City,” and a little more like Indiana Jones?

Fark also linked to a story on the Canadian news service CBC which described how Canada’s last diplomat snuck out of Iran. It’s interesting, but what amused me more was that once all their people were out, then Canada tried to kick the Iranians out of Canada and couldn’t find them. In the end, they sent a guy around to stick a note on the Iranian embassy’s door giving them five days to clear out.

The guy who gets to give Iranian diplomats the boot? He may have the best job in the world. I’d do that for free.


Janet Jacobs is City Editor of the Daily Sun. Her column appears on Saturdays. She may be reached via email at Want to “Soundoff” to this article? Email:

Text Only
  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The Wonderlic Test

    Did you hear the one about Texas A&M’s “Johnny Football” Manziel testing better than all the other quarterbacks in this year’s NFL Scouting Combine? No, this is not the start of an Aggie joke.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg Work Out? Bite your tongue!

    I've shared this before, but it bears repeating. I'm a lot like my late, dear Daddy … whose idea of “working out” was a good, brisk sit.
    Amen, Daddy. Me too.

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Letters to the Editor for Saturday, April 12, 2014

    Thanks for service
    To the Editor: The Blooming Grove Elementary School would like to express appreciation to several individuals and businesses that for three years have provided a “free” vision exam and eyeglasses for many of our students.

    April 11, 2014

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Uncle Mort: For the Birds

    Personal experiences racked up across three-quarters of a century — including yips and yaps at lecterns spanning five decades — offer positive proof that many times, utter silence is preferable to spoken words.

    April 9, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg One-liners

    For many years, in a previous life, I had somewhat of a reputation as a master-of-ceremonies and I stayed relatively busy at that avocation. I never met a microphone I didn’t like

    April 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Deanna Kirk mug Gotta love a small town

    There's so many things to love about living in a small town. Why just last week I got to hang out with my ex-husband, his folks, his wife and baby at the Youth Expo. Then just a day later, I got to see my other ex-husband and his wife at the hospital, when one of our daughters got sick and landed there.

    April 4, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jacobs, Janet.jpg Weird foods on our shelves

    The Atlantic magazine reported recently that sales of frozen pre-packaged dinners are falling and Nestle is considering selling off its Lean Cuisine food line.

    April 4, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Nightfall

    Under the glaring light of day we may fool ourselves into thinking that we are center stage, that everything revolves around us. But the night gently reminds us that we are, in fact, a small speck in the galaxies of creation.

    April 3, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Marjorie Main, in love and war

    Folks with dim memories of World War II recall the “coming home” of troops, and attendant triumphal celebrations that reverberated around the globe.

    April 2, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The student-athlete

    I ran across an interesting article on Mr. Computer, written by a Yahoo Sports reporter, one Jay Busbee, which had the title, “Check out the terrible paper that earned a player an A- at North Carolina.”

    March 31, 2014 1 Photo