Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


February 26, 2013

Still out of touch

Another week has crawled by and we are still pretty much cut off from the rest of the world. Well, I guess that is an exaggeration as we now have our paper delivered, the trash man has found us on Wednesdays, and The Little Woman (she hates that name) has a brand new mobile phone with a local number.

Also, we bought a goofy TV antenna which is sitting on a folding chair out in the back yard. I have 50 feet of cable snaking through the grass and shrubs, under the lanai (not a patio, but a lanai) door, alongside the glass door to the lanai, and hooked to the back of one of our TV sets which is tastefully placed on a folding table in the family room. It resembles a hillbilly setup you might expect to find on “Duck Dynasty.” If I get the antenna faced just right toward Tampa, I can get FOX, ABC, and about 15 Spanish channels. It’s not much, but it’s better than existing entirely on quality time with TLW and Annie the Cat.

Lo, verily, there is light at the end of our blackout tunnel! “Larry the Cable Guy” has promised us a land line, TV hookups, and internet service by tomorrow afternoon. Actually, Larry, the Comcast Direct Sales Representative, doesn’t care for that title and he has sleeves on his shirts. Anyhow, a cable was tunneled under our driveway from a new pod this morning so, hopefully it will all come together tomorrow and I will be able to e-mail this rant to His Editorship back at the Sun. Also, I will be reunited with my beloved ESPN and “Imus In the Morning.”

Speaking of sun, we get plenty of it here. We have sliding pocket doors on our patio (oops, I mean lanai) and we have them wide open almost every day and the breeze from the Gulf of Mexico is very refreshing. However, we have a western exposure on the back of our house and the late afternoon sun can be blinding in our kitchen and family room. Our crepe-paper blinds help somewhat and our for-real blinds are due in about 4-6 weeks.

I have tried to stay positive throughout our travails and inconveniences over the past few weeks and I realize we are truly blessed. For instance, our hardships completely pale to those of the 4,200 souls stranded on the disabled Carnival Triumph ship without power or working toilets for five days. Losing power on a ship that size is a monumental problem but is only a molehill compared to the mountain of no toilets for 4,200 people for five days. You have to believe they all pigged out on the endless buffets for the first couple days of the cruise before their toilets were disabled. Now we’re talking real hardship!

I saw a great cartoon in the Sarasota paper today. It is titled, “Carnival prepares for future emergencies...” and it shows a huge luxury liner sailing along with rows of alternating lifeboats and “port-o-potties” attached to the side. I know one thing for sure — once it was established that there would be no abandoning of the ship, I would have used the nearest life boat for a port-o-potty!

I mentioned that TLW got a new cell phone. This “Smart-Alec” phone is too much for me to comprehend — it just has too many options including texting and all manner of evil functions. Also, the keypad on it is too teensy-weensy and too sensitive for my pudgy fingers. I just can’t seem to dial a phone number correctly the first time on the little bugger — I get double numbers or erroneous ones every time I touch it. Thank goodness I found the delete button which backs me up one character at a time because when I hit “Back” it cancels out all my previous work and pops me back to the “Pick your application again, Stupid” screen. Bring on that landline phone!

The AT&T folks who sold her the phone were very helpful in setting up her plan for minutes and getting rid of some of the long-distance charges she had accrued by calling Sarasota numbers on her Corsicana cell phone. They also provided a whole set of “Senior Texting Codes,” which will be quite valuable. Here are a few of them:

“ATD...At the Doctor’s; BFF...Best Friend’s Funeral; BYOT...Bring Your Own Teeth; CUATSC...See You at the Senior Center; DWI...Driving While Incontinent; FWIW...Forgot Where I Was; TOT...Texting on Toilet.” I’ll bet some of you can relate and will be using these codes in the future.

Thankfully, these are the last of my punogranisms: I didn’t like my beard at first but then it started to grow on me. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory includes a pop quiz. The Indians got here first because they had reservations. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. The lady said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club but I’d never met herbivore.

GGLKI (Gotta go, laxative kicking in).

See ya...


Dick Platt is a Daily Sun columnist. His column appears on Tuesdays. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? Email:

Text Only
  • Belcher, Bob.jpg Salute to 'Mr. Derrick Days'

    I can’t help but think back to the “near-death experience” that Derrick Days had 14 years ago, and how one man’s determination brought it back.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Bill Tinsley Resurrection

    I was 29-years-old when my father died of multiple myeloma, cancer of the bone marrow.  He was 53 years of age. Only hours before his death, I spoke with him. Our eyes met during that final visit, the same eye contact we had shared from my birth.

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg It’s about time

    Some aspect of time steals quietly into our psyche in all conscious moments, and our use or abuse of it is central to much poetry, lyrics, scripts, conversations — you name it.

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg The Wonderlic Test

    Did you hear the one about Texas A&M’s “Johnny Football” Manziel testing better than all the other quarterbacks in this year’s NFL Scouting Combine? No, this is not the start of an Aggie joke.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • deannakirk.jpg Work Out? Bite your tongue!

    I've shared this before, but it bears repeating. I'm a lot like my late, dear Daddy … whose idea of “working out” was a good, brisk sit.
    Amen, Daddy. Me too.

    April 11, 2014 1 Photo

  • Letters to the Editor for Saturday, April 12, 2014

    Thanks for service
    To the Editor: The Blooming Grove Elementary School would like to express appreciation to several individuals and businesses that for three years have provided a “free” vision exam and eyeglasses for many of our students.

    April 11, 2014

  • Dr Don Newbury 2014.jpg Uncle Mort: For the Birds

    Personal experiences racked up across three-quarters of a century — including yips and yaps at lecterns spanning five decades — offer positive proof that many times, utter silence is preferable to spoken words.

    April 9, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick Platt 2014.jpg One-liners

    For many years, in a previous life, I had somewhat of a reputation as a master-of-ceremonies and I stayed relatively busy at that avocation. I never met a microphone I didn’t like

    April 7, 2014 1 Photo

  • Deanna Kirk mug Gotta love a small town

    There's so many things to love about living in a small town. Why just last week I got to hang out with my ex-husband, his folks, his wife and baby at the Youth Expo. Then just a day later, I got to see my other ex-husband and his wife at the hospital, when one of our daughters got sick and landed there.

    April 4, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jacobs, Janet.jpg Weird foods on our shelves

    The Atlantic magazine reported recently that sales of frozen pre-packaged dinners are falling and Nestle is considering selling off its Lean Cuisine food line.

    April 4, 2014 1 Photo