I was going to write a huge column on the World Cup this week. I saw the TV ratings for last weekend and had it figured out. It’s the soccer moms.
You know who I’m talking about. That is the group of voters in mini-vans and SUVs who now decide most elections now. I hear about them from all the TV new talking heads during every election season. If they are so influential, that must be what’s driving up the Nielsons. I’m sure the soccer moms from the ’Can are tuning in to see all those sweaty international hard bodies running around on the flat screen.
Like I said, that was what I intended to write about. Then I read Raymond Linex column about “Clothing Optional.” Now, I fear the local soccer moms who read the CDS have the image seared into their brains of a half-naked Raymond dashing out the door to retrieve his Saturday paper. From short shorts and knee socks to missing parachute pants …
Lebron James and Carmelo Anthony have both opted out of their contracts and are now officially unrestricted free agents. So, we now have a list of who officially will not be signing with the Mavericks this off season.
To quote Baby’s daddy (or Lenny to us “Law and Order” fans) in “Dirty Dancing,” “When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.” I was wrong. Even though the Spurs won the NBA championship, there will be no asterisk because of the A/C failure of game one. Lebron’s leg cramps or not, the five-time world champions needed no help in securing their legacy.
If I were still coaching and wanted an instructional video of how to play the game, I could use the tape from either Game 4 or Game 5. If ever an NBA team played the perfect game it had to be San Antonio. I thought Game 4 was as close to perfection as was humanly possible, but Game 5 may have been better. (Did you realize the Mavs played them better in the playoffs than either OKC or the Heat?)
What’s wrong with Kyle Orton? You had to think something was odd when he chose the Cowboys in free agency. Everyone knew Tony Romo was the Cowboys starter. He signed knowing he was a backup even though several other teams courted him as a starter. A lot of free agent quarterbacks sign with teams knowing they will be second string, but usually they have no other options. Orton had options.
Orton is a good quarterback. In the season finale, he performed well and gave our guys a chance to beat the dreaded and feared Eagles. Now, he doesn’t want to play anymore. The problem is if he retires he will have to pay back $3 million of his signing bonus. If the Cowboys release him he doesn’t. He hasn’t shown up for the optional off season program and was fined for failure to appear at the required OTAs.
In the first place, he’s made a few million for carrying a clipboard the past two seasons. If he carries one this year, he can keep the $3 million. I suppose the problem this season is Romo’s back surgery. Perhaps there is too much chance he’d actually have to play.
If I were a Vegas bookie, I’d have to put the odds on Jerry not releasing him. It’s the proverbial game of chicken. Orton is betting on Jerry needing the roster spot and eventually cutting him. Jerry is counting on Orton’s fines adding up to the point where he will figure out is just as cheap to retire. In Orton’s case, I don’t see it as much as a chicken game as chicken poop. (We can only wish Jerry’s biggest concern was a backup QB, huh?)
Boy, and I had so much material for a World Cup column. I had everything from biting Uruguayans to games with no clock to end them.
Unfortunately, I had to red card Raymond for what he did to the soccer moms of Corsicana. If only Bob, Dick or I had penned that column ...