Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


January 3, 2014

Morgan: A look ahead to 2014

Corsicana — Well, it’s 2014, and what does everyone in the newspaper business do in each and every New Year? It has to be one of two things: Either you look at the past year in review, or you make predictions for the upcoming year. Since the Cowboys, the Mavericks, the Rangers, the Stars and the CHS Tiger football team all failed to make the playoffs, reviewing 2013 wouldn’t be much fun. And, since one of my many skills is prognostication, I thought I’d give you a preview of just what is coming in 2014.

For the past few years, I thought Jerry Jones resembled an Egyptian mummy. I was wrong. He’s not a mummy. This year we will discover that Jerry is really a zombie, one of the walking dead. That explains a lot. Every time a new assistant coach or scout is hired, Jerry eats their brains.

That definitely explains running six times in the second half against Green Bay with a huge lead. It also clears up why they failed to draft a single defensive lineman in 2013.

Over the years you have seen me rant and rave about the BCS and their computer. Some of the annual matchups their laptop has come up with were more than mystifying. Sometime in the next few months we will learn one of the two following possibilities.

Either the NSA has hacked their computer and programed the bowl pairings, or…(and this is what I think really happened)…it will come out that the same company that programed the Obamacare website also programed the BCS computer.” If you like your national champion, you can keep your national champion.”

Nick Saban, Jimbo Fisher and Art Briles all have new long term contracts. When the University of Texas breaks out its checkbook, we will find out just how ironclad those contracts are. “If you like your head coach, you can keep your head coach.”

Jerry will keep Jason Garrett as the Cowboy’s head coach. He has too much invested in him. It’s too hard to find someone who can get to 8-8 every year. Besides, after three years, have you noticed: When Jason speaks; you can hardly even see Jerry’s lips move?

Monte Kiffen will decide to retire and take his Tampa Two back to the beach in Tampa. Rob Marinelli will be offered the defensive coordinator’s job but will turn it down in favor of moving to Tampa to bring drinks with little umbrellas to Monte Kiffen. Bill Callahan will stay on as the offensive coordinator.

 However, since he stays in the press box, you won’t be able to see if he is sending down the plays. When they show the owner’s box, see if you can spot Jerry in a headset.

With the Ranger’s everyday lineup set, the question will turn to the rotation.

My crystal ball says Colby Lewis is done, and that Matt Harrison will once again be on the disabled list. I see a rotation of Yu, Derek Holland, Martin Perez, Nick Tepesch and Robbie Ross. I see a battle between Nefti and Ogando for the closer spot.

And, prior to the trade deadline, I see a trade moving Mark Price into the rotation with Robbie Ross going back to the bullpen. Nah, that makes too much sense.

I foresee the Stars signing more players with names I cannot pronounce, but that Jon Ketcham will not only be able to pronounce them but spell them as well.

It will come out before the NBA season ends, that Dirk has a secret patent on his one legged fall away shot. The big German will then sue LeBron, Kobe and Kevin Durant for patent infringement. He will win his case in the Bundesgerichtshof (the Supreme Court of Germany).

Of course, when Kobe takes the stand, his defense will be, “I know nothing, NOTHIIIING!”

Islamic terrorists will have plans to disrupt this year’s Winter Olympics in Russia. There have already warmed up with a couple of bombings nearby. When they bombed us, all we did was invade Afghanistan and Iraq. The Russians aren’t nearly as nice. Vladimir Putin doesn’t go in for diplomacy nearly as much as we do. If they think Gitmo is bad, wait until they get a dose of Siberia in January. They don’t even read Russian citizens their rights. Waterboarding will be something they get to do a recess. Radical Islamists who poke at Russia would probably poke a Siberian tiger with a sharp stick. I think they have probably been inhaling a little too much on their hookahs.

My attorney warns me that I must inform you that these predictions are made strictly for informational and entertainment purposes.

Anyone wagering on these prognostications does so at their own peril. After all, at my visit to the ophthalmologist yesterday, even though he certified my hindsight as 20/20, he said my “third eye” might need a little laser surgery. Some of these did look a little fuzzy.  

However, I haven’t missed a prediction in days.


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  • Area schedule for the week

    Here's a look at this week's schedule for Golden Ciircle teams and Navarro College. The schedule does not include upcoming bi-district playoff games in softball because times and sites have yet to be determined.

    April 18, 2014

  • BG baseball GC Baseball/Softball: Blooming Grove sweeps Rice in baseball and softball

    Blooming Grove's Lions needed this one.
    Heck, they need all of them.
    That's where they're living today on the Blooming Grove diamond, where everyone knew going into Friday's game with Rice that the Lions need to win their final three games to have a chance of nailing down the final playoff spot in District 23-2A.
    One down, two to go.
    “It's in our hands,'' said Blooming Grove Coach Matt Anderson moments after his kids beat Rice 8-0 Friday night. “As long as we take care of our business we'll be fine.''

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • GC Softball/Baseball Roundup: Frost girls win district title

    Frost's Lady Polar Bears needed to win to nail down the district title and they never trailed, jumping out to a 7-0 lead en route to an 11-7 clinching victory over Itasca Friday on the road. They wrapped up their second district title in a row with a 9-1 record and enter the playoffs next week at 13-1.

    April 18, 2014

  • CHS Baseball/Softball: Whitehouse sweeps Tigers in baseball and softball

    The Tigers lost a tough game to Whitehouse, 11-3 as the Wildcats' ace, Pat Mahomes, who went four innings and gave up all three runs on two hits and five walks

    April 18, 2014

  • GC Basketball/Baseball: Mildred's Connor Hill sees life clearly

    There was never any doubt for Connor Hill, never any question about what he would do or how he would do it.
    Sure, there was that meeting with his mother and father and talks with the doctor when he was 10, talks and meetings that came accompanied with worry and concern.
    But never from Connor.
    He just never dwelled on the fact he played sports with one eye. He didn't worry or talk about it when he was 10 and he never talked about it at Mildred High, where Hill emerged as a star on the basketball court and baseball diamond.

    April 18, 2014

  • Frost Lady Polar Bears Area Champions.jpg GC Track & Field: Roundup — Frost girls win area meet

    The Frost Lady Polar Bears made a shambles of their district track & field meet last week, scoring 206 points, and they were dominate again in the area meet Thursday, scoring 162 points to win the meet at Blooming Grove.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • RON MORGAN.jpg Morgan:The new endangered species

    Am I just that old, or have amateur athletics gone absolutely nuts these days? On second thought, don’t answer that unless it’s yes to the nuts part.
    High School and college basketball are on the verge of being totally ruined by AAU basketball. Top roundball prospects are identified by the junior high level if not earlier.

    April 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • GC Track & Field: Area meet Roundup

    Corsicana's Gilfillan wins 4A area pole vault title; Frost girls win 1A area team title, Frost boys finish second

    April 17, 2014

  • GC Baseball: Mildred falls to Riesel, 9-0, on the road

    Mildred managed a hit and struck out 12 times in a 9-0 loss on the road that could have given the Eagles some cushion in the 23-2A standings. They are now 5-6 with a game at league-leading Teague Tuesday.

    April 17, 2014

  • 4-18-14Roman.jpg CHS Soccer: Tigers boys and girls top off season with strong showing on All-District teams

    That tough and gutsy style of play sent both the boys and girls teams into the playoffs and on Thursday the Tigers were rewarded again for their fine seasons as two boys won special honors,four boys were named to the All-District first team and two girls earned first-team honors.
    Michael Roman, who did a little of everything — and did it well — was named the District 28-4A Utility Player of the Year, and sophomore defender Jesus Barreto was named the district's Newcomer of the Year.

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo