Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas


January 19, 2013

Morgan: What is a ‘Catfish’ hoax?

I realize that I could well be a victim

Corsicana — When I was doing my usual exhaustive research for last week’s column, I ran across a term that I’d never seen before: Catfishing. Some apologists at Notre Dame are claiming that Manti Te’O was a victim of catfishing. I thought that meant he’d been in Oklahoma catching the whiskered scavengers by hand in muddy water.

I was wrong.  Catfishing has nothing to do with Hillbilly Handfishing. It’s an online hoax perpetrated on someone by creating a fake individual on something like Facebook.  This made-up person then creates an online relationship with the victim, in this case Manti Te’O.

As I pondered this newly acquired piece of knowledge, I realized that I could well be a victim of catfishing. Almost ten years ago, I met my wife on  My wife, Julie, if that’s her real name, claims to be from Mississippi. How do I know that such a place even exists? Could this beautiful lady actually be a plant by some nefarious character trying to put one over on me? It gives me pause.

There are just certain things you cannot question because of the nature of the circumstance. Manti Te’O’s story was one of those.  It would be very insensitive to dig into a story that involves the death of a loved one, now wouldn’t it? Who could be calloused enough to question the motives of a grieving athlete? During this period of the wussification of America, we must appear sympathetic.

Let’s take Lance Armstrong as another example. Lance was a cancer survivor and not just any cancer but cancer of the private parts.  You can’t question the accomplishments of someone who has overcome cancer of the private parts. I know because I’m a survivor of cancer of the private parts.

Back in the day, if I took performance enhancing drugs to improve my golf game, no one would dare suggest that because I was a survivor of cancer of the private parts. If I miraculously found my wayward drive in the woods, no one could doubt it because I was a survivor of cancer of the private parts.

The only difference was that I was much better at masking it than was Lance. Lance won seven Tour ‘Frances. How suspicious was that?  At the end of each round of golf, I made sure I was paying money to Larry Morrison, Ronnie Ragsdale, Jimbo Parks, Brad Haney, John Smith and/or other patrons of our “friendly” game.  Face it. I was smarter than Armstrong.

Politicians know this phenomenon and play on it constantly.  Gun control didn’t come up after the killing of gangbangers in inner city drug wars. They’re not sympathetic characters.  Gun control didn’t rear its head until the appropriate tragedy occurred.  Forget the actual efficacy of outlawing “assault” rifles. It would be insensitive to argue the point.

Global warming is another perfect example. You can’t question the conclusions of “scientists” all over the world, even if an equal number of “scientists” come to different conclusions. That would just be insensitive to Mother Earth and all the little children, lambs, baby kangaroos and unicorns. As Beta Males we must cower in the presence of sympathy.

So just in case my lovely wife isn’t really who she says she is, I’m going to play the sensitivity card.  I’m just going to remind Julie, if that’s really her name, that I am a survivor of cancer of the private parts. I deserve a little sympathy.

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  • CHS SotfballSpence.jpg GC Softball: Playoff Time

    There  were some bumps on the road and slides in the standings and a few bruises along the way, but five Golden Circle teams have reached the softball playoffs that begin with first round games on Thursday.
    For Corsicana it was a wakeup call during the second half of district play that gave the Tigers the push they needed, and for Mildred it was the culmination of yet another splendid season as the Lady Eagles made the playoffs for the fifth straight season. Blooming Grove is back again, a regular in post season play with a chance to make a run, and Hubbard begins its quest to get to the state tournament and Austin with a one-game playoff on Thursday against Itasca in Italy.

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • NVSBAhearn.jpg Navarro Softball: Bulldogs split with Kilgore, win final home game

    Kristen Ahearn was mad, steaming.
    Even her peanut butter and jelly sandwich that she ate between the doubleheader games didn't taste good. Nothing fit. Nothing was in sync. Nothing felt right or even tasted right.
    Then Ahearn found the cure.
    Simple enough: Just go out and blast a three-run homer.
    That's the short version of what happened Tuesday at Navarro College, where Ahearn's three-run bomb ignited the Bulldogs in the second game against Kilgore and Navarro went on to win 8-5 to close out its regular season with a bang and a smile from Ahearn.

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • KerensBBAnderson.jpg GC Baseball: Kerens beats Cayuga 5-1, wins first district title since 1981

    The wait is over.
    And it came just in time for Brett Anderson, who left it all on the mound Tuesday night at Kerens, where he pitched a masterpiece to lead the Bobcats over Cayuga, 5-1, and help the program win its first baseball district title since 1981.
    “I've got no gas left. I'm out,'' said Anderson, a senior lefty who stopped Cayuga cold, holding the three-time defending district champs to just three singles while striking out 14.

    April 22, 2014 2 Photos

  • GC Basebal Roundup: Corsicana blasts Jacksonville; BG wins huge district game

    The Corsicana Tigers wrapped up district play with a dominating 9-0 win over the Jacksonville Indians behind Trevor Nolen, who shut out the Indians and allowed only one hit over 6 1/3 innings.  Donovan Fields came on to retire the final two hitters. The Tiger pitchers limited the Indians to only 25 plate appearances in the game and no runner to reach third base.

    April 22, 2014

  • 4-23-14 Rodeo clown.jpg Rodeo: Navarro County Derrick Days -- Burton is back

    He's back.
    Professional rodeo entertainer Ronald Burton returns to the Navarro County Exposition Center  April 25-26 to entertain the crowd at the 2014 Navarro County Derrick Days Pro Rodeo.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Huggins rodeo Huggins to call shots at Derrick Days Rodeo

    West Huggins will serve as the announcer for the 2014 Navarro County Derrick Days Pro rodeo. The Gardendale native is the reigning three-time United Professional Rodeo Association Announcer of the Year.

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • NC baseball Whoa 300th Dill gets 300th win in Navarro baseball sweep of Bossier Parish

    Navarro baseball’s weekend in Louisiana was significant on a number of fronts. On one hand, coach Whoa Dill notched his 300th win. On the other, and perhaps more importantly, the Bulldogs simply continued to play well. The Bulldogs swept Bossier Parish to move 14-11 in Region XIV East Zone play, and 27-17 overall.

    April 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Mildred sending five to regional track meet

    Sasha Ballard set a school record in the 800 meters and paced a contingent of five Mildred thinclads heading to Stephenville for the regionals later this week.

    April 21, 2014

  • Kerens boys grab four gold medals at area track meet

    Tavion Hall and Jalon Moss each snared a pair of gold medals as Kerens boys finished second at their area track meet last week with 88 points.

    April 21, 2014

  • Area schedule for the week

    Here's a look at this week's schedule for Golden Ciircle teams and Navarro College. The schedule does not include upcoming bi-district playoff games in softball because times and sites have yet to be determined.

    April 18, 2014