Corsicana Daily Sun, Corsicana, Texas

October 4, 2013

Morgan: How about a Manning shutdown?

By Ron Morgan
Corsicana Daily Sun

Corsicana — Inside sources tell me that the Cowboys are going to waive both starting corners and bring in Harry Reid and John Boehner. If anybody knows how to shut down Peyton Manning, it would be these two. They’ve proven to be shut down artists.

People make fun of us here in the south. Many people think the term redneck is derogatory. We wear it like a badge of honor. They slander southern haute cuisine. They turn their noses up at turnip greens, black eyed peas and fried pork chops. They even disparage the way we talk. I wonder if they ever stopped to notice, no one ever decides to retire up north. Think about it.

I wish Jon Daniels was a little more politically savvy. If he were, he would describe the Ranger’s offensive shortcomings of September as merely a glitch. He’d compare it to the “glitch” in the new Apple OS 7 system in the IPhone 5C and 5S. No one is calling for the elimination of Apple with that glitch. That way he could keep players like Mitch Moreland and David Murphy, even if they were worthless at the plate. As it is, he might have to defund some of the Rangers.

Has there ever been a better quarterback in the NFL than Peyton Manning? I know he only has one championship ring to wear while brother Eli has two. Terry Bradshaw has more Super Bowl rings than he has ex-wives. Sure, Joe Montana has multiple Super Bowl wins, but no one has been this good for this long that I can recall.

Two years ago, after multiple neck surgeries, the Colts decided it was time to move on and cut the elder Manning loose. (Remember Montana’s time at Kansas City. Me either.)

So, now at age 36, who in pro football is better? Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Tony Romo? Besides, would you rather buy a prostate remedy from Joe Theisman or a Papa John’s pizza from Peyton? I thought so.

If you think coaching doesn’t matter in the NFL, just take a look at New Orleans. Who dat coachin’ dem Saints? In 2012, with head coach Sean Peyton playing golf while the Saints were finishing behind the Cowboys in the standings, they looked like anything but a Super Bowl contender. With Peyton’s suspension behind them, they are currently 4-0, and looking more like the toast of N’Orleans. Dat’s who.

Okay, everyone knows the Cowboys are now starting former Waxahachie star Brian Waters at left guard. Waters is a future Hall of Fame candidate who has played in six Pro Bowls and named All Pro twice. However, did you know that he was not the most highly recruited player on the Waxahachie squad? That honor went to Montae Reagor, who went to Texas Tech where he was an All American. Brian Waters wasn’t even a guard at the University of North Texas.  Just like at WHS, Brian played tight end for the Mean Green. (Now you know the rest of…oh, wait. Wrong medium.)

Jerry Jones and Nancy Pelosi: Separated at birth, or just patients of the same plastic surgeon? (For all you Batman fans, I think we could group the Joker in with them.)

The Cowboys blew an 11 point lead in San Diego. In fact, they wound up behind by 10 points in the second half. But, hark! Baylor rookie Terrance Williams is going in to score to get them back in with ample time left on the clock. Well, the talented but inconsistent rookie fumbled before crossing the goal line. The Chargers fall on it in the end zone for a touchback and get the ball at the 20-yard line to run out most of the clock. Is it the rookie’s fault? Heavens, no.

Many of you may be too young to remember. In fact, some of you probably tuned into the game and wondered, “Where are the Cowboys?” Some people may have never seen the ‘Boys in navy jerseys, and therefore are unaware of the curse of the blue jerseys. Terrance Williams isn’t to blame. It’s the jersey. So, throw a little salt over your shoulder, put on your lucky underwear, piece that mirror back together, rub that rabbit’s foot or call Marie Lebeaux. It won’t matter if they’re wearing blue.

Of course, against Peyton Manning, finding a penny heads up won’t do anything for you. What we have to hope is that Whispering Harry Reid and Smokin’ John Boehner have one more shut down left in them or Dallas could fall off a very physical cliff.