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O.K. “Dear Readers” don’t they already have laws on the books against reckless driving? Here comes the “Nanny State” crowd once again with more “We know what’s right for you laws.”  Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly for watching out for our “spoiled brats” — I mean school kids! I’m sorry, but this attack on cell phones is just plain old “Politically Correct” bull droppings raring its ugly head again.

I think sometimes, our politicians, or legislators think they must write new laws, just so it appears their busy looking out for us, and they are doing something to earn their bloated salaries. First it started with banning cell phones in school zones. Now they are starting to ban them entirely while driving. I know everything has ups and downs. We all have heard all matter of “so-called ring tones” annoy us at movies, church or synagogues, bingo halls, or out to dinner. It makes one want to “ring tone” someone’s neck! However, they’re going too far, on this one folks. Common sense tells us, looking at the phone instead of the road is “reckless driving.”  Now I can see banning texting while driving but I say if one is able to walk and chew gum, at the same time, why not let them?

Let’s go back to “Those thrilling days of yesteryear……a fiery horse and hearty Hi-Yo Silver!” The Lone Ranger rides again. Tonto is attempting to send a smoke-signal to the sheriff. The Lone Ranger says, “No Tonto we are in a no smoking zone!” Tonto exclaims, “How we tell sheriff about bad guy, Kimosabe?” “We don’t Tonto,” the masked man says, “We are on our own!” “Sorry Kimosabe, bad guy got twenty mean hombres with him…….You on your own. Tonto not stupid!”  See how crazy this stuff gets, boys and girls? If we had those silly laws back then it could have broken up the “The Lone Ranger and Tonto.”  We “Baby Boomers” know you don’t pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, and you don’t mess around with Tonto!

Now let’s go back to the days when law and order was kept by the town Marshal, or Sherriff, the point of a six-shooter, and the smell of  “Gunsmoke!’’ “Marshal Dillon, Marshal Dillon, There’s a gang of cut throat outlaws riding into Dodge,” yells Chester! “Wire the local fort, and get some back up soldiers in here, while we try to hold them off,” intones the Marshal. “I can’t, because the telegraph office is next to a school zone” exclaims Chester! “In that case, Kitty and I are out of Dodge,” shouts the Marshal! “There are forty mean outlaws in that bunch, and we’re not sticking around to make their day!” Here we go again people. If these laws were in place back then, what would have happened to the “Old West’’ we know and love? What if we told the Indians, they couldn’t hunt buffalo, because they were an endangered species even though there were 1.000 buffalo for every Indian brave!? I believe there would be some scalps missing in Washington. In that case I believe most of us “Palefaces” would be on the Indians side!

Now back to present times… A beleaguered Momma is driving down the road. Suddenly she turns around, while driving to knock some heads together, because her little darlings are getting on her nerves! I am only kidding here; I don’t want to be accused of advocating child abuse. Should this be banned? Someone is eating a taco while driving, and loses half the filling in their lap. They look down, while navigating the highway, to retrieve their lunch. Are we going to ban eating while driving? How many of my “Dear Readers’’ have seen someone steering with their knees, while reading a newspaper or book, tooling down the road, and jamming to Hip-Hop or whatever? If they get pulled over by “Johnny-Law’’ they might say, “There’s no law against eating while driving, Officer.”  Our intrepid lawman, or woman answers, “No, but there are laws against reckless driving. Here’s your ticket, and have a nice day!”  Oh no, don’t look down when you dispose of that ticket! See how easy this works, “Dear Readers!”

I hope my “Dear Readers,” you understand I was just poking fun at the ridiculous nonsense. How far are we going to carry this “nanny state” mentality? Look out the person next to you in that car needs to blow their nose but they appear to be looking for a Kleenex…Oh wait you can’t  call the police because you both will be accused of reckless driving.

“Cell ya” next week “Dear Readers.”


Mark Fleischer is a Daily Sun columnist. Want to “Soundoff” on this column? E-mail: soundoff@corsicanadailysun.com

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