The only show I ever watch on PBS is “Antiques Road Show.” I sometimes watch the flea market shows on HGTV where they compete to see who finds the top bargains.
I love the idea of uncovering a treasure someplace. Like when I was a kid: I thought if I dug deep enough in the backyard I might find a little buried pirate’s booty.
Here in Trophy Club, they have a citywide garage sale twice a year. You can’t have one any other time, so it is a huge event every April and October.
I’ve seen people come from as far as 100 miles away to attend the big sale. I make the crawl from block to block seeking a little treasure that no one else recognizes as such.
I got hooked on it back in 1980. I found a garage sale ad in the Daily Sun for a yard sale that included golf clubs. I couldn’t resist.
My daughter, Jenni was four at the time. We stopped at the donut shop (take that, Michelle Obama), then proceeded to look for the X on the map.
What I found was an old set of Sear golf clubs. What a bummer!
However, there was an interesting putter in the bag. I asked the owner if he would just sell the putter, and he declined because he didn’t want to break up the set. I then offered to trade him my putter and throw in $10.
He took it. I figured I had just upgraded my golf set. What I didn’t know until days later was that the putter I had obtained was a classic Wilson 8802 worth about $300.
I’m still looking for my next big garage sale Picasso hidden under a water color of a clown.
I think at some point in the past, Jerry Jones found a putter at a garage sale.
You know the old adage about one man’s trash being another man’s treasure, don’t you? Well, Jerry is dumpster diving in the NFL trash heap.
Last season, the Cowboys had the worst defense in the league and the third worst in NFL history.
By Jerry’s logic, they will be better this season because they were so bad last year that the only way they can go is up. That’s like thinking my golf game is so bad it can only get better. I’m living proof that isn’t the case.
From the worst defense in the league, the Cowboys subtracted Jason Hatcher and Demarcus Ware. They also lost Sean Lee, but how can you miss what you have hardly had?
So, in the draft, Jerry takes an offensive tackle. Okay, I can live with that.
That would be the only position outside of a defensive player that makes any sense. Keeping Tony Romo and his bad back upright is crucial.
Then Jerry commences to make a stretch to grab a defensive end who winds up on crutches.
From there, the owner/GM/PR Director/Salesman/Socks and Jocks counter went to the NCAA scrap heap. I will admit though that Jerry did uncover one putter … er, cornerback, Tyler Patman, who was a star, at least in preseason.
Prior to training camp, they did come up with a 25-year-old who just three short years ago was a first round draft pick.
Rolando McLain was an All American linebacker at Alabama.
However, he didn’t play last season after twice retiring from football.
As one of my old buddies might have said, he has a class A body with a class D head.
After discovering that you can’t only go up from the bottom in exhibition games, Jerry had to wait until every team had to cut down to 53 players to be able to dig through the rest of the league’s refuse.
Yep, Jerry was pulling a Fred Sanford with barely a week before the season opener.
Did Jerry find trash or treasure? It’s hard to say right now. He did pull out what might be a special team’s gem. C.J. Spillman has been a kicking team standout for the 49er’s the past couple of years.
A special team player? As Darrell Royal used to say, “Old ugly is better than old nothing.”
Pending passing a physical, Jerry might have found at least one Piece of Eight from Black Beard’s plunder.
The Cowboys have brought in Michael Sam, and will likely add him to the practice squad. Unless you’ve been under a rock for the past four months, you know Sam as the first openly gay player in the NFL.
He was drafted by the Rams in the seventh round in what was rumored to be a favor to the commissioner.
Michael was cut by the Rams and cleared waivers. He’s actually too small to be a defensive end (255 lb.), and too slow to play linebacker (4.8 forty), but he can play some football.
He was Co-Defensive Player of the Year for the SEC. The Cowboys and their junkyard defense might just be the perfect place for him.
Even if he can’t play, he distracts attention away from Jerry’s shortcomings as a football man.
And, who knows, besides adding to the glitz and glamor of Jerry’s big top, he might just turn out to be a rare putter hidden among some J.C. Higgins irons.